Job Vacancy: All Knowing Individual Needed

#1
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.

Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.

Right handed applicants need not apply.

Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.


Sluggy xxx
 
#3
datumhead said:
Ahh...you found the "Emergency Lambrini" then? :wink:

:D
Do I look like I drink Lambrini?

It's a serious question.
 
#4
Dale the snail said:
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.

Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.

Right handed applicants need not apply.

Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.


Sluggy xxx
Dale, let me try and interpret your female rant (see if I get it right??).

Dale the snail said:
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.
You've had an arguement with your fella, he thinks he knows everything but can't possibly as you do. He drinks red wine in copious amounts?

Dale the snail said:
Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.
Your fella has left and is looking for a hareem to take with him.

Dale the snail said:
Right handed applicants need not apply.
He doesn't like ginger, left hookers who stink of piss. You're not a gwar are you Dale?

Dale the snail said:
Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.
No idea.
 
#5
Bravo2nothing said:
Dale the snail said:
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.

Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.

Right handed applicants need not apply.

Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.


Sluggy xxx
Dale, let me try and interpret your female rant (see if I get it right??).

Dale the snail said:
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.
You've had an arguement with your fella, he thinks he knows everything but can't possibly as you do. He drinks red wine in copious amounts?

Dale the snail said:
Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.
Your fella has left and is looking for a hareem to take with him.

Dale the snail said:
Right handed applicants need not apply.
He doesn't like ginger, left hookers who stink of piss. You're not a gwar are you Dale?

Dale the snail said:
Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.
No idea.
Dear B20,

You thick git.

Oracle (aka Oracle from here, not one of your gay websites) is having a rest at the moment because the likes of you are unfunny and a bunch of cunts.

No, he is not my bloke, he is someone who is liked on here, unlike you. If that was an attempt at humour, I suggest you try again.

It was fucking wank.

B-

Try harder.

Sluggy xxxx
 
#6
I think you need to get back in your shell sluggy you must be tired!
 
#7
B20, check PMs x
 
#9
datumhead said:
Dale the snail said:
datumhead said:
Ahh...you found the "Emergency Lambrini" then? :wink:

:D
Do I look like I drink Lambrini?

It's a serious question.

:oops: sorry...how about White lighting?
Oooh you smooth talker.
 
#11
I am more of pot noodle and w@NK man - far more romantic and very interesting when you get you nob stuck in the slag of all snacks!
 
#12
Bravo2nothing said:
Dale the snail said:
B20, check PMs x
Seen......

I'll retire to a distance.
I thank you kindly sir, there is method in my madness.
 
#14
DISCOS said:
Im confused, I think??????
Read my first post, the great Oracle is on a Sabbatical (sp) and some people think it's something to laugh at.....
 

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