• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Job Vacancy: All Knowing Individual Needed

#1
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.

Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.

Right handed applicants need not apply.

Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.


Sluggy xxx
 
#4
Dale the snail said:
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.

Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.

Right handed applicants need not apply.

Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.


Sluggy xxx
Dale, let me try and interpret your female rant (see if I get it right??).

Dale the snail said:
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.
You've had an arguement with your fella, he thinks he knows everything but can't possibly as you do. He drinks red wine in copious amounts?

Dale the snail said:
Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.
Your fella has left and is looking for a hareem to take with him.

Dale the snail said:
Right handed applicants need not apply.
He doesn't like ginger, left hookers who stink of piss. You're not a gwar are you Dale?

Dale the snail said:
Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.
No idea.
 
#5
Bravo2nothing said:
Dale the snail said:
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.

Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.

Right handed applicants need not apply.

Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.


Sluggy xxx
Dale, let me try and interpret your female rant (see if I get it right??).

Dale the snail said:
Requires: Smart arrsed git who think he knows everything, with the ability to drink red wine.
You've had an arguement with your fella, he thinks he knows everything but can't possibly as you do. He drinks red wine in copious amounts?

Dale the snail said:
Oracle has retired and has gone to live as a hermit on a rock.

Go-go dancers and nymphomaniacs may only go and visit. Please swim quickly carrying bowl of fruit in left hand.
Your fella has left and is looking for a hareem to take with him.

Dale the snail said:
Right handed applicants need not apply.
He doesn't like ginger, left hookers who stink of piss. You're not a gwar are you Dale?

Dale the snail said:
Please bring CV with proof of virginity and note from both your uncles and dad.

He promises to return in the near future, he is just having a little rest.

That's me knackered for lottery numbers.

For more information, please PM me, but I won't know because I can't mindsee like what he does.
No idea.
Dear B20,

You thick git.

Oracle (aka Oracle from here, not one of your gay websites) is having a rest at the moment because the likes of you are unfunny and a bunch of cunts.

No, he is not my bloke, he is someone who is liked on here, unlike you. If that was an attempt at humour, I suggest you try again.

It was fucking wank.

B-

Try harder.

Sluggy xxxx
 

Latest Threads