A guy walked into his local dole office in Liverpool and said to the assistant "You know, I hate signing on, I'd much rather have a steady job. The assistant picked up a file and said, "You have excellent timing, this job opening has just come in from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. Because of the long hours, you would be expected to live in the two bed roomed apartment above the garage, where the top of the range Mercedes you will drive is kept. All your food, clothing and expenses will be provided. You would also be expected to escort the daughter on long overseas holidays, maybe three or four times a year.... and if asked,... satisfy her sexual needs. The job also comes with a salary of Â£48, 000 a year." The guy stared in wide eyed amazement,..."You're bullshitting me" he said at last... The assistant said "Yeah, well you started it."