A Scouser staggers into the local Job Centre, goes up to the counter and says, "Hi ... you know, I just hate drawing benefits eh. It's like charity. I really, really want to work for my money, you know ? Get a job like." The clerk looks up & replies, "It's your lucky day, you couldn't have timed it better ! I've just been speaking to a very wealthy man with a private job offer. He needs a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful 19 year old daughter. You'll be required to to drive her around in any one of his fleet of luxury cars. You will be provided with a discreet uniform and sets of plain clothes for escorting the young lady to events and functions. You will be housed in a two-bedroom apartment above the garage, but all meals will be cooked by his chef. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. The starting salary is Â£38,000 a year plus expenses." The clerk leaned toward the man, "Er, there's just one small problem," he said lowering his voice, "His daughter unfortunately suffers from nymphomania. Well... you... er... you may be called upon to satisfy her sexual urges." he whispered. The bloke, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshitting me !" The clerk says, "Yeah, well you fcuking started it !"