Discussion in 'Sick Jokes' started by ArmyBarmyBen, Nov 19, 2010.

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  1. Tell me this.. why does a shower have 11 holes?

    Jews only have 10 fingers
  2. Well judging from the amount of inbreeding that clearly goes on inside your family, you either have 3 fingers (all webbed) or 17.

    However in neither case is your "joke" a joke. Total shit in fact.
  3. Thank you for the input buddy..
  4. I was telling that joke in the playground over 25 years ago.
  5. hmm

    did you know that Belsen was the most heavily defended area of Germany

    250 000 jews dug in, in skeleton order



  6. Ahh the old, but not necessarily best ones......

    BP, pure genius mate, still laughing.......
  7. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Wah, judging by his previous posts.
  8. I heard it at least ten years before that, and it was a crap joke then.
  9. Bet Tropper heard it some time circa 1926...
  10. Well, if he's to be believed, he's a 15-year old ACF Cadet. Think he's just trying a bit too much with the Ruff-Gruff Stuff. Bless.
  11. Jewish bloke goes to a nightclub in full John Travolta gear (white suit, medallion, etc). Within a few minutes he has trapped the best bird in the joint and takes her home.

    Getting her into the bedroom, he sensuously strips her and kisses everywhere.

    He then takes of his jacket and shirt, revealing a toned torso and hairy chest with the Star of David medallion in the hairs. "Oh yeah!" thinks the lass "I'm going to have fun tonight!".

    Then the Jewish guy takes off his trousers and pants only to reveal a triangle of pubic hair and a set of big balls. But no cock.

    The girl is less than impressed and states she may as well leave as there is no way that he can make love to her.

    "Not so fast, not so fast my girl" says the red sea pedestrian as he claps his hands, and out pops a 1 inch cock.
    "So you have the world's smallest cock. Well done, I'm still going home" says the lass.
    "Wait a minute" and the guy claps his hands again and again.

    Before you can say "would you like to buy a sweetie" his cock is almost a metre long. The girl's eyes are out on stalks, but she tells him that there is no way that he is coming near her with that cock as it will kill her. So he clicks his fingers and his willy reduces by an inch, and by clapping his hands and clicking his fingers gets his cock to the girl's dream proportions.

    He flips her over and gets inside. And then does nothing.
    The girl is again very disappointed, and tells him that he has to move his cock otherwise she may as well leave.

    "Alright already" he replies...

    ...and then starts clapping his hands and clicking his fingers while singing:

    If I were a rich man,
    Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
    All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
    If I were a wealthy man.
    I wouldn't have to work hard
    (from Fiddler on the roof).
  12. The teacher asked her prize student, "So Moshe, what does two plus two make?"

    "Buying, or selling?" Moshe replied.
  13. Given an all-expenses paid vacation to Hawaii by his congregation for his 25 years service at the temple, the widowed rabbi arrives at his hotel room, and finds a beautiful and naked young woman lying on his bed.

    Enraged, the rabbi calls the congregation's president, and shouts, "How could you offer such an insult to me, a man of God? I've never been so offended in my life!" The rabbi then slams the phone down.

    The young woman begins to put on her clothes, and the rabbi says, "Where are you going? I'm not mad with you!"
  14. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi.

    The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion. "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."

    They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.

    "Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."

    Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking screaming orgasm.

    The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, "You see, THAT'S the way to wave a towel!"
  15. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    I had a german plumber in to fix my shower. When he had gone, I found that he had connected it to the gas supply. I suppose that old habits die hard.