Jerry Falwell falls well

Ahhhhh. One less nutcase to fuck things up for the rest of us. Personally, I'm happier than a bastard on Father's Day.

Partial transcript of comments from the
September 13, 2001 telecast of the 700 Club

JERRY FALWELL: And I agree totally with you that the Lord has protected us so wonderfully these 225 years. And since 1812, this is the first time that we've been attacked on our soil and by far the worst results. And I fear, as Donald Rumsfeld, the Secretary of Defense, said yesterday, that this is only the beginning. And with biological warfare available to these monsters -- the Husseins, the Bin Ladens, the Arafats -- what we saw on Tuesday, as terrible as it is, could be miniscule if, in fact -- if, in fact -- God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.

PAT ROBERTSON: Jerry, that's my feeling. I think we've just seen the antechamber to terror. We haven't even begun to see what they can do to the major population.

JERRY FALWELL: The ACLU's got to take a lot of blame for this.


JERRY FALWELL: And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say "you helped this happen."

PAT ROBERTSON: Well, I totally concur, and the problem is we have adopted that agenda at the highest levels of our government. And so we're responsible as a free society for what the top people do. And, the top people, of course, is the court system..

JERRY FALWELL: Pat, did you notice yesterday the ACLU and all the Christ-haters, People For the American Way, NOW, etc. were totally disregarded by the Democrats and the Republicans in both houses of Congress as they went out on the steps and called out on to God in prayer and sang "God Bless America" and said "let the ACLU be hanged". In other words, when the nation is on its knees, the only normal and natural and spiritual thing to do is what we ought to be doing all the time - calling upon God.
Cunt. I can almost hear Satan spreading KY along the length of a baseball bat. :D
Don't worry chums; Falwell built a rather large university to produce clones of himself in perpetuity.

As dirty stinking sinner, with the morals of a hungry sewer rat, I can't say I liked the man. But I do think of him as the equal and exact opposite of the liberals presently weakening the west.
So the old b'stard has finally shuffled off? Great news!

I can picture the scene, Falwell approaches the gates to his destination:

Falwell: Well, here I am St. Peter. Where do I get my wings?

Doorkeeper: Ah, Mr. Falwell. We've been expecting y.. Wings?

F: Yes, when you get to Heaven, you're issued wings!

D: Heaven?... Err, umm, yeah, Heaven, right. Just come with me, I'll take you where you need to go. Mwahahahaha!

F: Gee, ta. Bit hotter than I expected. When do I meet God?

D: Erm, He's a bit busy, just now - we've, er, had some problems with the, eh, central heating see. Yes. Global Warming, that's it.

F: Oh. I though that was just some Evolutionist nonsense. Hey, is that a pitchfork or a trident?

D: Pitchfork. No dallying, now, chop-chop can't keep the boss waiting, can we. Mind your footing just there, those Good Intentions can be a bit slippy.

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