Jeremy Kyle - wow!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cuddles, Oct 2, 2007.

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  1. Whilst having my tea-break and a quick dash at the Telegraph crossword this morning I joined her indoors in the sitting room and found she was filling her Fenian NAAFI-break with the Jeremy Kyle show.

    For those unfamiliar with the format, Mr Kyle invites members of the underclasses to bring their problems into his studio, where assisted by various specialists and technology, he dispenses the wisdom of Solomon over issues revolving around bizarre families, addicitions, betrayals in love and obese munters.

    These are some of the burning issues of the day which Mr Kyle gets to the bottom of:

    Can you prove your son's my brother?
    My brother has at least seven children and is still sleeping around...
    Did you try to seduce my sister?
    You told me I'm not the dad, just to stop me from seeing our children...

    all laced with lie-detectors and DNA tests and such!

    Mr Kyle is obviously the possessor of values that the victorians would take a sharp intake of breath over. When the chavs who come onto his programme are busted by either polygraph or DNA tests, Jezza gets very, very medieval on their asses. He is a slightly built runty sort of a lad but goes face-to-face with tatttoed, pierced and shaven lads (and lasses) without the heavy duty on stage security details that other chav-show hosts use.

    I have to say he makes me chuckle with his "I'm angry about society but they're not here so you'll do as a scapegoat" style of "journalism". TFB was thoroughly enjoying the results of some lie-detector tests which proved the runty little northern bloke had not been over the side, while is chinless baby-mother had in fact been servicing the population of Didsbury and accusing him to cover her backside!

    If there was ever an argument for euthanasia it is some of these fragile vessels...
  2. I'm sorry but I stopped reading after you said "Jeremy Kyle show".

    Could you give us a brief summary instead? :wink:
  3. The JK show like all the rest of these dole walla uncovered programmes is
    s hite! Best get a telly with more channels!
  4. No I loved it. normally dole wallah comes on and says "I'm a victim, feel sorry for me..." and some git of a presenter pats him gently on the back and blames everyone except the chavoid. JK was exactly the opposite of what I had expected - i.e. that! He got right into some cokehead and when this bloke said "don't bring my children into this", Jezza thoroughly demolished him, by pointing out that he not JK has involved his children by taking the fecking drugs!

    He sent some chinless whore to feck off but warned her that if she tried to cook up some story to prevent her worthy but dull husband seeing the kids he was obviously devoted to, that the tape of the programme was now a matter of public record. As was her taste for other men's cocks and marijuana. No, say what you like about daytime TV, this was nothing like I expected and frankly, if JK treats the scum of the earth in this way, more power to his elbow. He is pushing a personal responsibility and own fault agenda that the social services would blanch at!

    Any one who comes on bemoaning their addicition to drugs gets a short sharp shock and reminded that they had every fecking choice but to take them! It is like televised arrse, but with Kyle playing MDN...except on the child abuse segments I imagine?
  5. A rather loud "Take responsibilty and stop putting it about and reproducing" get's Jeremy and good dose of clap from the crowd.

    Im particularly touched when the 'Security' are asked to bring tissues to a woman who has burst into tears usually just after trying to attack her mother with a screeched "Im gonna av you".

    And none of them have obviously seen the advert for Daz, they really could get their white's much whiter.

    Not sure who has the better class of arrsehole. Trisha or JK?
  6. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    From a purely personal point of view, Trisha's ares is much shapelier than Kyles.
  7. Perhaps MDN could fill in while Jezza goes on hols!! Now that would be worth pulling a sickie to watch!
  8. I'm thinking MDN, would have the chavs dressed in lederhosen and swimming hats, beating each with dead badgers wrapped in barb wire.

    I'm feeling strangely aroused now............
  9. Once the scummy chav dole-scrounging pondlife have served their purpose they should be taken backstage and killed off with one of those bolt-guns they use in the abbortoirs :twisted:
  10. Therapy experts rap Kyle show

    Counsellors' association says The Jeremy Kyle Show 'takes people apart'

    David Smith
    Sunday September 30, 2007
    The Observer

    Pressure on ITV to investigate The Jeremy Kyle Show after it was condemned by a judge as 'human bear-baiting' grew last night when Europe's biggest psychotherapy organisation called for a review of the way the programme treats vulnerable members of the public.

    Right, two things about the above. Firstly, it must be the first time a Judge is right...and secondly...vunerable? Them?!
  11. Seconded.

    How do we start one of those petitions?
  12. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I must have missed the one where they took people apart. Has anyone got s copy of that? Where did they start? And did they reassemble them afterwards?
  13. That's why I like it, because it uses "PYT" therapy rather than "cuddly-fluffy-did your daddy not love iddums den" therapy! PYT? "Pull yourself together"!

    for the last thirty years, people have relied upon somebody else to sort out their love-lives, families, drug and alcohol addicition, obesity, childcare and now we are finally realising that take responsibility for yourself and others around you is the way forward. Which as serving or ex-army we all knew is however wake up time for the chavoids!
  14. I do think the Jeremy Kyle show would be better if they locked the guests in a room with a 1500lb Kodiak bear.
  15. I'm in too, can we also include all applicants for 'x factor' et al?