Jeremy Clarkson expresses concern about state of the Forces

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by armchair_jihad, Oct 2, 2006.

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  1. Forgive me if this has been posted before

    The excellent all weather Jeremy Clarkson uses a review of the Chrysler 300C CRD to express his concerns about the British Army

    Ever since man discovered he had a penchant for war, there has been rivalry between the services. This is all to do with pride and tribalism and, generally speaking, it’s a good thing. However, when a leaked e-mail from an army officer describes the RAF as “utterly, utterly useless”, you get the distinct impression that this is far beyond good-natured teasing.
    You have visions of him lying in a ditch desperately calling for air support and hearing nothing over the radio but the sound of a Harrier’s starter motor whirring uselessly.

    The problem, of course, has nothing to do with the people who fly or service the planes. And everything to do with those grinning buffoons in Westminster who’ve spent the past five years unable to see what’s going on due to the fact they’re all deep inside George Bush’s bottom.

    You read about billions being shaved from the budget and squadrons being merged to cut costs and, frankly, it doesn’t mean anything at all. Not when you’ve just been startled out of your skin by a Tornado that has flown between your chimney pots at 4m knots.

    However, I’ve done a bit of checking and it seems the RAF can field five strike attack squadrons that must share 60 Tornados. Then there are the offensive squadrons, which have 26 Harriers and some Jaguars, which may as well be Sopwith Camels. And that’s it.

    In total, with the air defence Tornados, they have just 150 aeroplanes that can actually do fighting. The Luftwaffe has more than twice that. So do the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. In an air war we’d struggle to beat the Bubbles. Of course 150 fighting planes is fine when all we have to worry about are a handful of mad Irishmen, but since Mr Blair realised that his retirement fund relied on being popular in the land of the brave, we’re now fighting what seems like half the world.

    It is an extraordinary scandal and what makes it just so shiversomely hideous is that Blair and Brown and all the other useless fools who preside over our wellbeing know full well they can get away with it. Strip the NHS of funds and pretty soon you’ll have a bunch of nurses on television sobbing. Decimate the fire brigade and immediately the streets will be full of men in donkey jackets, standing round braziers. But the forces? You can squeeze their gonads until their eyes pop out and still they won’t moan.

    When asked recently if the British Army could cope, its new top man General Sir Richard Dannatt replied: “Just”. He can’t come out and say: “Are you joking?” Because this is not the army way. Even though he’s waging war on two fronts using US helicopters that shoot themselves down and Sea Kings that have a top speed of four if it gets hotter than 57C — which it does in Iraq, a lot — he still has to stiffen his upper lip and tell the world that everything is tickety boo.

    It’s not just the top brass, either. Back at home, quietly, soldiers may tell their loved ones that things are pretty bleak. But have you ever heard one say so publicly? Were they at the Trades Union Congress in their apple-green short-sleeved nylon shirts banging on the tables demanding more money and better equipment? No they weren’t. They were out there, far from the television cameras, in a shit-awful part of Afghanistan fighting with pointed sticks.

    I do hope Blair can sleep easily at night knowing that his lecture tour pension fund is being paid for by the blood of a thousand British soldiers and airmen. And I hope, too, he realises that if the RAF really is “utterly, utterly useless”, it’s all his fault.

    in Full - the Chrysler 300C CRD Touring review is the last sentance,,12529-2380998_1,00.html
  2. Clarkson for PM.

  3. Maybe after he bones up on the capability of the Jaguar.
  4. As much as I don't like his journalistic style, well done JC!

  5. I am sure that he will PTP, however the important thing is he is 'on side' big time and has a much larger audience than the MOD press center or even arrse.
  6. Well said that man! The Jaguar may well be a capable platform, but unless the decision is made to stall its 2007 retirement date, drag all the old airframes out of mothballs, bomb 'em up and set them loose on our Jundhi opponents, its an irrelevance.
    I like Clarkson, always have. He has that typically Yorkshire trait of seeing past the political smoke and mirrors, and calling a spade a spade.
  7. The man speaks the truth of the matter, and is not cowed by the political spin doctors!!

    You know you want to and have to, Vote now! JC for PM!!!

    Join the revolution!!
  8. I want to buy JC several pints and then encourage him to sneak into Downing Street with a knife!
  9. Its alredy been tried, much to Tony's surprise, he finds that he is not liked.
  10. Well we could always try to get The hamster a job as Bliars driver?
  11. As I understand it the Jags can't do hot and high on the runways we have out there with a useful warload so would be of limited use. Only the Harriers with the uprated engine can be used by the way, that's why so few are out there, as most of the Harrier fleet can't go. Spending cuts again, no funds to re-engine all of them.
  12. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    A little while ago Clarkson and his buddy AA Gill visited Baghdad and had a drag race in MBT's ( Gill apparentely reversed into a lake).

    Has this been aired yet or did I miss it ?

    Glad to hear the hairy denim-obsessed petrol-head has used his considerable media clout to good effect. :D

    Well done Sir Jez - tick VG, milk monitor till Christmas.

    Le Chevre

    Oi Clarkson? Fancy a gentle trot around Sandhurst in aid of Combat Stress?

    Or maybe an invitation Race Day at Goodwood - in 2CVs !
  13. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Yes it has. You have to register with The Times though. Google"sunday times, tank race, clarkson" and do the necessary.

    Edit: Linky.
  14. This man is the only defense England has left... and he is a git.

    I'd give the fat bastard the option of a tour of Helmand on a Korean quad bike or paying his taxes without moaning like a tory bitch so there is some money for decent kit.