Jeremy Clarkson calls people who throw themselves under trains 'selfish.'

#3
They are selfish however if we billed the families for the loss in productivity caused by any delays it might not happen as often.
 
#4
I could probably think of much stronger words than "selfish."

Do they ever spare a thought for the paramedic who has to go under the train and dodge the third rail so he can hold the cretinous fucktard's hand while they move the train?

Or the rozzer who has to walk half a mile up the track scraping offal from the rails?

Or the train driver who slams on the brakes knowing full well he's going to kill somoene because there's no way he could have reacted quickly enough, and will probably never drive a train again?

Do they fuck. Death's too good for them.
 
#5
Have to agree every cunt who tops themselves is greedy , and so self important that they think that by topping themselves people will give a toss. The exceptions to this are Government sponsored suicide, such as walking in the woods alone after condemning certain documents that relate to WMD.
 
#7
If one is going to top oneself,then one should do it with some dignity. Show some consideration for others,instead of going out and causing great inconvenience to commuters,not to mention the hoped for sympathy and publicity that the selfish act may attract.
Some years back,a loony woman caused trains to be stopped whilst she contemplated whether to jump from a station bridge onto the track below.One commuter had enough and with the words "If you're gonna do it, GO!" and launched her off the bridge with a helping shove.
She broke her legs and had other injuries. The dispatcher(an ex Para) got jailed for his public spirited action.

Yup, Selfish bastards.
 
#8
They are very selfish, I'm a train driver luckily I haven't had anyone throw themselves under my train but a lot of my work mates have, its not nice.
 
#9
They are cunts, if life really pissed you off that much top yourself sensibly and make it look like an accident, start skydiving and 'forget' to open the chute one time or eat a million pills and go for a nap. Just because life shat on you don't make us late for work/city-centre piss-up. I suppose it is a better excuse for the announcer to make than 'the wrong type of leaves on the line'.
 
#10
I don't mind any fucker throwing themselves under a train.

Just don't do it on my fucking line.
 
#11
Have to agree every cunt who tops themselves is greedy , and so self important that they think that by topping themselves people will give a toss. The exceptions to this are Government sponsored suicide, such as walking in the woods alone after condemning certain documents that relate to WMD.
Yep.
 
#12
They are cunts, if life really pissed you off that much top yourself sensibly and make it look like an accident, start skydiving and 'forget' to open the chute one time or eat a million pills and go for a nap. Just because life shat on you don't make us late for work/city-centre piss-up. I suppose it is a better excuse for the announcer to make than 'the wrong type of leaves on the line'.
Better still, pop down to the doc and he'll give you a nice packet of pills to tide you over until your illness subsides.

I used to commute and I've been on a few trains that have hit people. The attitude of most of the staff and passengers wasn't that different from Clarkson's attitude.

Do you think the Guardian has a fatwa out on him? It's not his fault that the public sector strike flopped.
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
They are very selfish, I'm a train driver luckily I haven't had anyone throw themselves under my train but a lot of my work mates have, its not nice.
If you hit three don't you get to retire on an RSM's pension?
 
#15
Well on that I agree with the big ponce, it's not suicide by cop but it is getting there.
 
#17
Suicides are cunts. 9 times out of 10 they have no assets so, as an undertaker, we end up having to bury the selfish knobthroats at cost.

500 gauge plastic sheeting is not cheap, you know.
 
#18
Are there no minefields that need clearing? Supplies that need delivering in dangerous places by unarmed civilians? If they want to top themselves, why can't they find something useful to do with their ending.
 
#19
We get loads of them on the Munich to Garmisch line,fcuk knows why but as it´s only a single line it fcuks the whole days timings up,which is great for us who have Taxi´s as we sometimes get lots of trips to the aiport etc. :)

Hanging yourself in a garage is selfish,no fcuker needs a taxi!

Egoist..?Moi?

If you´re gonna top yerself then at least do some fcuker some good!

Just waiting for the snow to come so I can pick up the suicidal maniacs who ride snowboards from the A&E at the hospital ;)
 
#20
Being of (reasonably) sound mind I don't have the desire to off myself, but having given this a little thought if I were to top myself I'd probably lay my head on the rail and wait for the train wheel to change its shape, into a slightly flatter version. It'd be a pretty quick ending.

I know it would be a cuntish trick if I were to kill myself by that method, but I wouldn't really give two fucks about the inconvenience to anyone else. In fact, I'd probably choose a Friday afternoon on the main line into Londonistan, just outside Paddington or Waterloo station, just to go that extra mile of cuntishness.

What other imaginative methods would you choose should you wish to prematurely depart this mortal coil? Extra points for maximum fuck about factor caused.
 

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