Jelly starfish

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by scalieback, Feb 7, 2005.

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  1. >This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you
    >have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial
    >saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
    >repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his
    >sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft.
    >Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience
    >contest. Needless to say, she won.
    >Hi Sue,
    >Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
    >bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
    >so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
    >not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
    >first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
    >my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
    >It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
    >do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
    >heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
    >sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down
    >the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now
    >this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
    >no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
    >is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods
    >my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
    >Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
    >started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
    >worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the
    >out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what
    >happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
    >into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
    >jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
    >fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
    >grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
    >supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were
    >unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all
    >laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
    >instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
    >thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
    >dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
    >but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
    >tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and
    >told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The
    >put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was
    >swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
    >how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
    >Now repeat to your self, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
  2. 8O 8O 8O

    takes the term deep insertion to another level :twisted:
  3. Chocolate Jellyfish, owf.
  4. X-Inf

    X-Inf War Hero Book Reviewer

    A jellyfish enema in a wet suit 8O That would go down well at the Tory Party Conference. :twisted:
  5. Nothing to do with jellyfish.....but anyway,

    On an RE dive project we were using surface demand kit (air fed from the surface). This allowed you to stay down for hours at a time. A dry suit with thick thermals ('wooly bear') underneath kept you from freezing (still not warm though). After a while the cold on the kidneys and the mugs of tea had their effect, and there was no stopping it.....HAD TO PEE :oops:

    What a blissful warm comfy feeling..........for about 20 seconds, followed by the next hour or so with swamped suit reaching the same temp as the surrounding water....agony :cry:

    Far better to just guff in the suit and watch the face of the guy helping you out of it when you come up :lol:.....although follow-throughs had been known :wink: