Japanese managers

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ciggie, Nov 14, 2011.

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  1. I have to talk to some tomorrow. Any suggestions from Arrse linguists about polite things I could say to them ? Ohayogozaimasu means 'Your wife likes oral' if I remember rightly...
  2. Don't mention the war.
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  3. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    As an ice breaker, ask them why both men and women in their country have such a phobia of shaving their undercarriages. Assuming that Japanese training video's follow life of course.
  4. Make some reference to Unit 731. If they know what you're talking about the shit will hit the fan, if they don't then A) They'll think you're mad, B) They have no idea of their own country's' past.
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  5. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    When presenting your business card, hold it square on to the manager using thumb and forefinger of both hands. Lean forward four inches (do not bow) and extend the arms slowly. Gob on the card and stick it on the managers forehead with a cheery "Pick the bones out of that you rice burning cunt". Japanese mangers are renowned for their sense of humour and their warm giggles will set the tone for a productive meeting of minds.
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  6. From my Jap slapping manual;

    Ohayo Gozaimas : good morning
    Kon-nichiwa : good day - good efty - good afternoon
    Konbanwa : good evening

    Hajime-mashte : pleased to meet you

    An example would be;
    “Hajime-mashte. Raa-mont (Lamont) des. Dozo yoroshku”
    “Pleased to meat you. I am Lamont. And you are/please introduce yourself”

    Ogenki deska? : how are you Genki des : I’m fine - [alternatively Genki des-yo : I’m very well (more emphatic)]

    Domo : Ta/ta muchly
    Domo Arigato : thank you
    Domo Arigato Gozaimas : thank you very much
    Domo Arigato Gozaimas-ta : thank you for all/everything you’ve done (till this moment)
    Do itashimashte : you’re welcome
    Osewa ni Narimashta : thank you for your help

    So Des : That’s correct, yes of course
    So Desne : oh is it? Isn’t it? Isn’t that right.
    So Dayo : slang version of So Des.
    Onegaishimas : please continue, please begin or please proceed. Said not as a command but more as an imploration/encouragement
    Dozo : after you, go ahead, feel free

    Gambatte Kudasai : do your best - give it laldy - come on big man.

    Goburei : oops! My fault. I’m very sorry. Please forgive me for;
    a) striking an unprotected or vulnerable area
    b) taking unfair advantage
    c) being arrogant, presumptuous or inattentive
    d) spoiling your technique/practice due to my clumsiness (sorry for being a half wit)

    Baka Des : I’m a thicko, I’m a donkey, I’m stupid. Can be said about yourself or at someone (impolite)

    Daijobu des : well done, that’s right, that’s it.
    Chigaimas : that’s wrong.
    Kekko des : no thanks or that’s fine or no I’m ok etc lots of uses and extremely polite.

    Hope this helps...
  7. Ever seen the film about that mob? Bunch of fucking slinty eyed cunts. Or perhaps read the Knights of Bushido by Lord Russell of Liverpool, the slinty eyed cunts.

    In fact subhuman slinty eyed cunts.
  8. Oh no they're not...
  9. I'm assuming your location at present is Japan?
    If not get him to speak English and remind the little yellow fellow who won the fucking war.
  10. I thought this was a thread about Japanese fruit based alcoholic drinks - It's not; what a kunt!
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  11. Ask them whether they speak English. If they don't respond with "Yes" ask again, louder and more slowly.
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  12. If you want to introduce yourself as Ciggie from ARRSE Ltd. you would say:

    Watashi wa ARRSE no Ciggie des.

    Japanese names are said in the Asian manner, i.e. family name first then given name, and the 'san' is tacked on to the given name, i.e. Suzuki Tetsuo-san.

    As an ice-breaker you could ask if they have tied any POW's to a tree and bayoneted them recently.
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