Jammy Bastard, Me

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Lardbeast, Jun 25, 2010.

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  1. Just bought 10% of a brewery. Not sure my liver can take it...
  2. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Hate to disillusion you but a homebrew kit that you and your mates chipped in for does not count as a brewery.
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  3. How about this?


    Guess I can say goodbye to my short term..... oh look, a squirrel......
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  4. You are only a jammy tw@t because of those barmaids, I bet the beer sucks.
  5. You might consider hiring a better poet.
  6. so thats what santa gets up to the rest iof the year then

    do they still work there too and what perks do you get from them now?
    first two only, last ones a moose
  7. Do ARRSE members get a free pint?

    If not you're a tight bastard, not a jammy one :D
  8. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    You're more than a jammy cnut!!

    That's my mudder's family name, so it is, tra le la! Gilroy = 'Son of the Gwar Chav', descended from Irial, the ancient King of Ulster is what it means.

    Well done you for buying into a good Brewery with a sound name.

    So there!
  9. Did you buy it from a nice Nigerian gentleman??
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  10. Breweries. The crowning turd in the overflowing toilet bowl of my life's missed chances.

    About 8 years ago, a little lass joined my team at work. Blonde, slim as a whippet, stunningly beautiful, tight little arrse, and the most pert pair of jubblies you've ever seen. To cap it all, her uncle owned a third of Bath Ales. And she was up for it. Only trouble was, I was happily married at the time, so didn't take her up on the offer.


    (Although she did arrange a tour of the brewery for the team, which was nice.)
  11. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    What he's conveniently forgotten to mention, is that the 10% he owns is the corner where they store the empty barrels and the staff toilets and smoking room are located.
  12. So if we all nip over there after the Brazil match today, will we get a free pint and a large helping of the blond's fun-bags? And have you laid on a bus back to London in time for work on Monday coz I'm not going to Serf Afrika just for a night out.
  13. Don't let these jealous bassa's bother you Lardbeast. I've always liked you. Really, really liked you mate. Pal. Buddy.
  14. Busted....

    The blonde on the far side is my brewer mate's daughter. Single, but you'll have to be quick. The line starts in South America.

    I'm the fat ugly one propping up the bar. If I'm in town and you identify yourself as a member of this fine site, the first pint is on me. The beer is the best in the southern hemisphere according to Diner's Club and some beer pundit.

    Jazz evening tonight. Sliding in there for a few pints before heading back to Chad next week. How we suffer...
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