An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all get done for armed robbery, rape and murder. The Judge sentences them to fifty years in prison. However, the Judge allows the condemmened three to each pick one 'luxury' item that they can have in endless quantities. The Englishman thinks for a while. "I choose women." So off he goes to his cell with a few beautiful young girls. The Scotsman says, "Whisky!" So off he goes with gallons of the stuff. The Irishman grins and says, "I want cigarettes." And he gets his wish. Fifty years later the cells are opened up and the men released. First, the englishman, who appears knackered, with a trail of wives and kids behind him. Next the door to the Scotsman cell is opened. It reeks of stale piss and whisky and the Jock is singing wildly, trashed off his face. The third cell is opened and the Irishman sticks his head out and says, "Has anybody got a light?"