Jailed in the Czech Republic

Discussion in 'Living Overseas' started by IssacHunt, Nov 4, 2010.

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  1. Hello,
    Just want to air something that happened to me recently.

    I live in the Czech Republic, I have a business here and I'm generally happy here.

    One evening I went for a drink in a pub with my girlfriend, we have been together for nearly 2 years, i'm 46 and she is 32. A chap arrived and for some reason started mouthing off at me.. "******* English ****, stealing our girls" etc after a few minutes I said to Katie, lets leave. We did, I paid my tab at the bar and at the last minute decided to have a pee. The lad who has (had) a big mouth came in and punched me whilst I was having a pee. Piss every where and my eyebrow was split.

    I don't know about you but fighting with your dick out is difficult. I finished my pee and walked to the bar. He was in my path so I nutted him and he went down. I left the pub. He followed and attacked me again, the net result was him on the floor and me standing. I went home with my girlfriend.

    Next day 4 policemen arrived at my flat, they were armed and arrested me, someone had a broken jaw and cheekbone. I was taken to the local nick. The problem now was that nobody spoke English and my Czech is awful on a good day. It was 16:00 when they removed my shoe laces and belt, then locked me up. The next morning I was taken to the 'interview room' and provided with a Czech/English translator. I was asked questions and I replied truthfully, after 20 minutes I was released with a warning and a fine.

    I found out later that the guy I fought with had called the police, he told them that I had attacked him etc etc. My girlfriend was also interviewed and she told them exactly what happened.

    Today I still go to the same pub with my girlfriend, only now I'm very careful as to what I will do if provoked. The chap who started it no longer comes here, he chooses to pick his fights elsewhere now.

    I just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.
  2. msr

    msr LE

    Have you been drinking again?
  3. Shit! How did you know..
  4. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    That's nothing, I once spent 16 hours in a cockroach infested cell in the Philippines for stealing a cardboard cut out of Spiderman from outside a Jollibee fast food restaurant.
  5. Just be glad you were not in Turkey:

  6. LOL mate, and what a bloody good film
  7. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I didn't have the guts (or muscles) to steal a man dressed in a Jollibee suit. The spidey cut out seemed like it had good size to weight ratio making it the perfect target for theft. Unfortunately I ran straight into a passing patrol of local plodders and was arrested at gunpoint with my fellow accomplices. We managed to convince them that it was all a drunken prank in the end and they drove us back to the dockyard after 16 hours of questioning.

    We had to bribe them with a load of gash gizzits so that they wouldn't tell the CO, I think we gave them a cap, a general service life jacket, a whole role of zap stickers and an engraved zippo from the NAAFI.
  8. You Smooooth bastardd
  9. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    My oppo wasn't so lucky when he tried it a second time in Chile.

    Oh how his CO laughed when he informed him that it wasn't the first time he'd been arrested in a foreign land for nicking life size caricatures from big eats establishments.

    BBC NEWS | England | Manchester | Sailors steal McDonald's statue
  10. Reminds me of a close call in Budapest right after the "fall of the wall" when i was leading a small delegation of multi-service and civvie government "experts" to work with our Hungarian counterparts to shift them from their reliance on Moscow to us. There was a beer fest on Margit Island in the Danube so naturally we had to go (with out Hungarian "minders" in tow--interpreters and a couple of "liaison officers" who just happened to be from their intell corps (fancy that) and had all their training (and at the time indoctrination) in Moscow at such free thinking institutions as "Patrice Lumumba University."

    As you can imagine, at a beer fest there is a lot of beer (due to the value of the forint at the time a pint of Pilsner Urquell or the local brew, Dreher, was about 20 cents US) and one of our team, a US Air Force major, felt compelled to keep up with the locals. Not surprisingly, (he was Air Force after all) he exceeded his usual limit of a 1/2 pint, and became the veritable Ugly American.

    After several close calls with the local street toughs, I managed to persuade him to leave with us for the safety of our quarters but on the way he became fascinated with the large (8' tall) likenesses of the beer bottles affixed to every street light post we passed. He seemed to think it would be perfect behind his sofa in his suburban house in America (isn't this always the case?) so he wrenched one off its post and began manhandling it down the street as we passed throngs of rather interested Hungarians, all of whom no doubt could tell we were Americans (our shoes and no black leather bomber jackets I imagine).

    Soon the inevitable occurred in that several drunk Hungarians thought the sign would look better over their sofa and there proceed to be a shouting match and tug of war with the sign in the middle. Our 2 secretive "escorts" began looking rather disturbed and one began speaking in hushed tones into of all things his jacket sleeve. I thought surely he has had too many Drehers but just as i finished that thought the familiar sound of military boots tramping on cobblestones got my attention and around the corner of a building appeared about a platoon of rather large Hungarian fellows in combat rig each with a bit of white and blue horizontal striped t-shirt showing at the neck of his battle smock. They did not seem especially happy about being called out and suffice it to say our errant Crab officer lost his bottle trophy as we were all hustled ("briskly") from the place.

    I was able to have a brief meeting with the good major the next morning--without coffee.