JACKARRSE!!

#1
Not sure if this has been done before but it could be a laugh.
(Or it will go t1ts down! :( )

This idea was inspired by one of our American friends when he lagged himself whilst wearing stonewash jeans, the picture was posted for our viewing pleasure. (who was it?)

The big idea:

Lets all come up with amusing/painful/embarassing ideas which would make a good picture on arrse, at the end of the week we should hold a vote to see who should perform said task and get them to post the picture on this thread.

Any wannabe weemen (if you are under 3ft) are more than welcome. :D
 
#2
mooch said:
Not sure if this has been done before but it could be a laugh.
(Or it will go t1ts down! :( )

This idea was inspired by one of our American friends when he lagged himself whilst wearing stonewash jeans, the picture was posted for our viewing pleasure. (who was it?)

The big idea:

Lets all come up with amusing/painful/embarassing ideas which would make a good picture on arrse, at the end of the week we should hold a vote to see who should perform said task and get them to post the picture on this thread.

Any wannabe weemen (if you are under 3ft) are more than welcome. :D

Good idea, lets try suicide

You go first and try one of the following:

a) Sit in a non lead free car with an exhust pipe in the window, with black nasty covering all the vent holes. Switch engine on and free the world from your dullness

b) Travel to Iraq with a nice tailored suit made from the USA flag and a tee shirt with a target and 'mohammed was a bacon eater' embosed on the front

c) See how many volts you can piss on the live rail of the Central Line underground stations

d) Catch the GNER Newcastle Express, as it pulls into Kings Cross at 100 mph. This should be done from the track. Just stand in front and stick your thumb out!

e) Smuggle a nine bar of lethal heroin wrapped in macaroon paper up yer hoop on your next trip from the Sandpit

Any more ideas from arrse'rs to help this fool on his trip to the other side!!!!!!!!

:D
 
#3
Insert the nozel of a full petrol can down the front of a pair of stone washed jeans. Pour the petrol down your trousers to achieve a decent "map of Africa" effect. Lightly brush the underside of your crutch with a naked flame. Ask a friend to take a picture then post it on arrse. Job done.

Boney
 
#4
SuperTrooper said:
e) Smuggle a nine bar of lethal heroin wrapped in macaroon paper up yer hoop on your next trip from the Sandpit
:D
Mooch thinks the Sandpit is Blackpool. Its probably the furthest he has travelled but I doubt he would go back now he knows who MDN is :wink: :wink:
 
#5
Dale the snail said:
SuperTrooper said:
e) Smuggle a nine bar of lethal heroin wrapped in macaroon paper up yer hoop on your next trip from the Sandpit
:D
Mooch thinks the Sandpit is Blackpool. Its probably the furthest he has travelled but I doubt he would go back now he knows who MDN is :wink: :wink:
Fcuk me I didn't realise that MDN was one of the Little and Large boys!!!!
:D
 
#6
boney_m said:
Insert the nozel of a full petrol can down the front of a pair of stone washed jeans. Pour the petrol down your trousers to achieve a decent "map of Africa" effect. Lightly brush the underside of your crutch with a naked flame. Ask a friend to take a picture then post it on arrse. Job done.

Boney
This one is in the lead so far!
I dont mind going first as long as everyone is going to enter into the spirit of things!! :D
 
#7
Give mooch a chance guys: this has the potential to be a very amusing and long-running thread.

How about molten body-waxing? Pour molten candle wax on body parts - the most painful one is into your belly button (if you have an inny, the bigger the recess the better). As I recall the second most painful one is your barrse (the bit between your balls and your arrse).
 
#8
Bits said:
As I recall the second most painful one is your barrse (the bit between your balls and your arrse).
So that'd be the Twern't for the ladies then? :lol:
 
#9
after seeing another dull mooch thread/post I have forced myself to drink battery acid and pound a 16" rail road spike through my todger.

Mooch fcuk off you are boring the crap out of people.
 
#10
mooch said:
boney_m said:
Insert the nozel of a full petrol can down the front of a pair of stone washed jeans. Pour the petrol down your trousers to achieve a decent "map of Africa" effect. Lightly brush the underside of your crutch with a naked flame. Ask a friend to take a picture then post it on arrse. Job done.

Boney
This one is in the lead so far!
I dont mind going first as long as everyone is going to enter into the spirit of things!! :D
Mooch, i wasnt as much entering into the spirit of things, as offering you a way off this mortal coil which would also amuse the readership.

Sorry for the misunderstanding, and i've got 5 litres of unleaded in the shed if you need a lend.

Boney
 
#11
ctauch said:
after seeing another dull mooch thread/post I have forced myself to drink battery acid and pound a 16" rail road spike through my todger.

Mooch fcuk off you are boring the crap out of people.
Well said that in-bred redneck
 
#12
This could have been a good thread if it had been started by someone who's actually funny and not a waste of oxygen.

Cheers, mooch - you've destroyed a great idea.
 
#13
ctauch said:
after seeing another dull mooch thread/post I have forced myself to drink battery acid and pound a 16" rail road spike through my todger.
Pics in the gallery please :wink: :lol:
 
#14
Lippy said:
ctauch said:
after seeing another dull mooch thread/post I have forced myself to drink battery acid and pound a 16" rail road spike through my todger.
Pics in the gallery please :wink: :lol:
Only if you promise to lick my wounds :D
 
#15
ctauch said:
Lippy said:
ctauch said:
after seeing another dull mooch thread/post I have forced myself to drink battery acid and pound a 16" rail road spike through my todger.
Pics in the gallery please :wink: :lol:
Only if you promise to lick my wounds :D
<hopeful look here>

Pics to the gallery, please... or to my private email account???
 
#18
Lurid or outrageous act on the desk of an officer (up to you how lurid or outrageous), the one who performs on the most senior officers desk wins.
 
#20
mooch said:
stoatman said:
This could have been a good thread if it had been started by someone who's actually funny and not a waste of oxygen.

Cheers, mooch - you've destroyed a great idea.
Tell you what then MATE!!

You start it again and then you can call it your own.

Thanks for your contribution to this thread but i'm afraid that your suggestion was UTTER SHITE and will therefore not be used. :roll:
HEAD....OVEN....ROAST....GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

for the love of God, please....

Beebs
 

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