Jack Feckers at a BBQ

#1
OK, the Easter Weekend Jamberee is put to bed and I can scrape down the BBQ fro another year, its a bit of a tradition in my household hold this annual event but this year we decided to ask for people to contiribute to the shindig, the tally ?

One bottle of Rose (WTF !?!?!)
Two 4 packs of beer (that was drunk in good order by those that brought them before moving onto my crate of Stella)
A bag of value butterfly cakes
2 packs of sausages
and some veggie stuff brought by the token cuecumber swallower

Not bad for 20 odd guests I supose :roll:

Well as you can guess the alcholol didn't last and I had enough sausages on the barbie so told the one person who brought meat to stick them in the fridge for later

Anyway fast forward to today and I thought a sausage butty would go down well, only to discover the snide feckers had took the fecking things home with them the jack cnuts

So anyone else had to suffer this level of jackness at an event or have I just got MUG written in indelible ink cross my forehead ?!?
 
#2
We have a few BBQ's and invite the same old crowd, some of them who happen to be from South Africa. Its the norm for them to bring there own food, cook it themselves, not share it and eat it then take the remainder home. I nearly choked on my Stella the first time, but its normal apparently, either that or Im being taken for a ride.
 
#3
cheers easy m8

should of invited your mates

when we did them in traz, people bought enough food and booze for a weeks bbq, so we did!

i had 4 fridges in the cellar permantly stocked and unlocked so anyone wanting to spark one up could.
 

Auld-Yin

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#4
hammy123 said:
We have a few BBQ's and invite the same old crowd, some of them who happen to be from South Africa. Its the norm for them to bring there own food, cook it themselves, not share it and eat it then take the remainder home. I nearly choked on my Stella the first time, but its normal apparently, either that or Im being taken for a ride.
You should charge them for the fuel used in cooking it!
 
#6
wellyhead said:
OK, the Easter Weekend Jamberee is put to bed and I can scrape down the BBQ fro another year, its a bit of a tradition in my household hold this annual event but this year we decided to ask for people to contiribute to the shindig, the tally ?

One bottle of Rose (WTF !?!?!)
Two 4 packs of beer (that was drunk in good order by those that brought them before moving onto my crate of Stella)
A bag of value butterfly cakes
2 packs of sausages
and some veggie stuff brought by the token cuecumber swallower

Not bad for 20 odd guests I supose :roll:

Well as you can guess the alcholol didn't last and I had enough sausages on the barbie so told the one person who brought meat to stick them in the fridge for later

Anyway fast forward to today and I thought a sausage butty would go down well, only to discover the snide feckers had took the fecking things home with them the jack cnuts

So anyone else had to suffer this level of jackness at an event or have I just got MUG written in indelible ink cross my forehead ?!?
Nope, you're a mug.

Last time I had a barby, I ended up with another 2 BBQ sets*, a fridge full of weirdy beardy stuff and more lamb steaks than I could shake a stick at.

*Toppers, do you want them back, or shall I put them in the back of your shite car and double the price???
 
#9
Your not wrong about jack attitudes when it comes to bbq , i invite people around every year to bbq,s and do i get an invite do i fcuk , so the can get to fcuk this year , also might be something to do with me putting the mother in laws new sandals on the bbq as the munter would not shut up talking about the fcuking things, Bollocsk to them all :lol:
 
#10
JONCAL said:
Your not wrong about jack attitudes when it comes to bbq , i invite people around every year to bbq,s and do i get an invite do i fcuk , so the can get to fcuk this year , also might be something to do with me putting the mother in laws new sandals on the bbq as the munter would not shut up talking about the fcuking things, Bollocsk to them all :lol:
Fuckme - do you really wonder why there's never any invites?
 
#11
I have a barbie on cup final day every year. One year, we invited our neighbours....he brought 4 bottles of "ice house" beer then promptly demolished anything that was cooked on the barbie, his kids run amock throughout the house, and his wife did nothing but slagg off our house contents. To top it all, when he awoke from his drunken stupor (he fell asleep on my sofa) he noticed no one had touched his 4 pack and took it back with him.

Serves me right for inviting someone from the RLC I suppose
 
#12
Axles should be breaking on the way to a BBQ, you should bring what you expect to drink and x it by two

I've seen sheds stacked full of grog after BBQs, keeping everyone topped up with casual wets for months

However these are special bootneck BBQ and its a fact that royal is less jack than his fellow service gimps

The secret is to break open the neat pussers rum and toast every fecker till your guest are turbo sh+tters and unable to control there bodily excretions
 
#13
feck me time for some black ops - hold another BBQ next year, dock leaves, chopped up daffodil bulbs and stuff in the salad. Marinate some of the meat in laxatives and save it for your chosen few. Get a big plastic bucket and fill it with the 2% alcohol beer from Tesco. As people turn up open their cans and thank them loudly for their contribution, then pour them in the bucket for everyone to enjoy - sounds like you will have to be like Jesus and feed the 5000.
 
#14
Get some new mates. You wouldn't go to the pub with someone who never stood his round. Why should this be any different?

Or:

In Poker they say that if you can't spot who the idiot is, it's you. It's also said that you can judge a man by the company he keeps. It may be that everyone was a cunt to you because it may be, in fact, that it is YOU who is the cunt.
 
#15
thegimp said:
However these are special bootneck BBQ and its a fact that royal is less jack than his fellow service gimps
Fuckme shippers - you been having one of those special male-bonding bootie BBQ's - the ones where nudity and erections are mandatory and female company is banned? Where you all get pished and roll around in the mud, whacking each other with roll mats and wheelbarrowing each other around fields in darkest, deepest Arbroath? :D
 

Auld-Yin

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#16
tattybadger said:
thegimp said:
However these are special bootneck BBQ and its a fact that royal is less jack than his fellow service gimps
Fuckme shippers - you been having one of those special male-bonding bootie BBQ's - the ones where nudity and erections are mandatory and female company is banned? Where you all get pished and roll around in the mud, whacking each other with roll mats and wheelbarrowing each other around fields in darkest, deepest Arbroath? :D
Sounds like the voice of experience there TB with a hint of nostalgia. (Or would that be nosh-talgia? :twisted: )
 
#17
I would find some road kill, a badger would be nice, or the neighbours cat and give that to the scroungers. They are happy as they having a free meal, and you are happy cos you know what they are eating :)
 
#18
Auld-Yin said:
tattybadger said:
thegimp said:
However these are special bootneck BBQ and its a fact that royal is less jack than his fellow service gimps
Fuckme shippers - you been having one of those special male-bonding bootie BBQ's - the ones where nudity and erections are mandatory and female company is banned? Where you all get pished and roll around in the mud, whacking each other with roll mats and wheelbarrowing each other around fields in darkest, deepest Arbroath? :D
Sounds like the voice of experience there TB with a hint of nostalgia. (Or would that be nosh-talgia? :twisted: )
Can't say I remember being scuttled by a dozen hairy arsed marines in my years in the ACC! But it might account for your piles....... :D
 
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PrinceAlbert

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#19
hammy123 said:
We have a few BBQ's and invite the same old crowd, some of them who happen to be from South Africa. Its the norm for them to bring there own food, cook it themselves, not share it and eat it then take the remainder home. I nearly choked on my Stella the first time, but its normal apparently, either that or Im being taken for a ride.
Oh, bugger. I invited a couple of Safffas round my gaff for a BBQ a couple of years back, they did the same thing. Even took the diet coke they bought with them back!

Never invited them again. Didn't know it was the norm. Damn.
 
#20
PrinceAlbert said:
hammy123 said:
We have a few BBQ's and invite the same old crowd, some of them who happen to be from South Africa. Its the norm for them to bring there own food, cook it themselves, not share it and eat it then take the remainder home. I nearly choked on my Stella the first time, but its normal apparently, either that or Im being taken for a ride.
Oh, bugger. I invited a couple of Safffas round my gaff for a BBQ a couple of years back, they did the same thing. Even took the diet coke they bought with them back!

Never invited them again. Didn't know it was the norm. Damn.
Try inviting some sweatys or scousers around next year then! You'll soon see how lucky you were the other year!
 

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