Ive upset her indoors through shaving my backdoors

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bitterandtwisted, Mar 17, 2012.

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  1. Right I decided to do some hoop admin as I normally pinch her immac to get rid my hairy ringpiece....

    As you know its a nightmare for us blokes getting klinkers on your hairy arrse and rippin them off when your in the field....

    Compo bottom is not for winners and grollies stuck to them is not even funnier.....

    Anyhoo she'd ran out and though fuck using my mach 3 to shave me ronson... I duly used her cheap one.....

    However she jumped in the shower and started complaining to me the boy must have shat in the shower somewhere.....

    Cue me giggly like a girl as shes holding her razor, I fessed up and she has now blanked me for the past 6 hours!!!

    Mrs Bitterandtwisted currently living by her name...... I am still laughing typing this....

    So what immature tales that you done to see off your partner wife etc
  2. Shaving your arse?

    Why don't you just light your farts and burn the hair off like any self respecting man would do?
  3. I'd tell you, but she lurks on here, and I dont want to be sussed. Thanks, though.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Good on you, for the above and beyond hoop admin, though. I normally pull them out (hair and klinkers thegither) and throw them under the couch. Uh-oh. That's me busted, now. Cheers.
  5. Shaving your arse????

    You have got to be a puff, or a southerner, or both.
  6. I dont believe your story, and think its rubbish
    • Like Like x 2
  7. I witnessed my mate do that also.... Me and another lads were lighting our farts in blackpool but we were doing it through our jeans.

    Naively we convinced this lad to do it and pull down his grollys and place aforesaid naked lighter right up his hoop. All we saw was the naked flame back blast right up brown eye.....

    Me and my mate were in stitches pissing ourselves laughing. He was rolling round the floor in agony screaming get me to a&e....

    One of the funniest things I have ebver seen in my life bar witnessinga boootneck on board fart the tune to good save the queen on HMS Ocean - his nickname was marine methane......hilarious
  8. I can only deduce two things from the OP's post, either his arrse is so caked in shit it left a gopping remnance on the razor, or his missus is that much of a bush pig she was shaving her tosh and smelt the greasy residue!?
  9. I have no problems keeping my pubes in check. But shaving/imaccing/whatever to my hoop is beyond the pale.

    You raving fucking bender.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Nothing as rancid as what the OP did to his bride. Just the usual "dutch oven" where I pull the blanket over her head and drop a fart.
  11. You raving hom. I bet you use 'product', too. Are you 'emo' or summat?

  12. Get it waxed, back, sack and crack. You'll walk like John Wayne for weeks
  13. Ya bunch of cunts !
  14. Was gettin a bum gobble a couple of years ago from a young waitress with a mouth full of gob irons when an errant hair got caught. Fair brought tears to me eyes I can tell you as she whipped it out root and all.
    • Like Like x 3
  15. Would've been attractive seeing a shit encrusted hair poking out between her teeth.