Ive turned into me Dad...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by spent_case, Jul 7, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Little SC was just fcuking about with his new BumbleBee Transformer and making a racket instead of being asleep.

    I just walked in and said 'I don't want to hear another peep out of you'

    That's the phrase I hated as a sprog when me old man spoke it to me. Oh bollox. What next.. Golf, a pad in Spain and comfortable slacks?
     
  2. I've inherited my dad's stock of phrases on the subject of tightwaddery around utilities. I didn't used to be that bothered, but as gentle shades of grey entered my sideburns, the phrases started to emerge unbidden.

    [​IMG]

    "Bloody hell, it's like Manchester airport in here, get some of these lights off"
    "Good idea, let's put the heating on.......for ten minutes"
    "Don't put the heating on, there's a ton of coats in the hallway"
    "Yeah, it was me that unplugged it"
    "Just eat 'em cold"

    As the years go by, they'll increase. He's a very generous man, my dad, in all other areas, but he was a fcuking dimmer-switch demon when we were kids. I'm also hoping to inherit his penchant for taking us on life threatening death marches to 'work up our appetites for tea'
     
  3. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Oh Sh1t, does that mean life is over. I find myself repeating such things like:

    It's not going to tidy itself.
    Whats that bloody racket your listening to?
    When you earn your own money then you pick what you wear!
    Your not going out dressed like that!

    And I do the death march thing.
     
  4. Well leave your mom alone because that is just sick!
     
  5. I don't think I've turned into my Dad. Thank God for that - he's still a bloke!
     
  6. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    A thread called "I've turned into my mum" doesn't invoke the same memories.
     
  7. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I'm not turning into my dad, bt I AM turning into various TV characters:

    To my daughter:

    "Step away from that oven!"

    To my missus:

    "Put the kettle on, do it now!"

    To my neighbour:

    "What me again muthafukka!"
     
  8. I turned into my dad a few years ago. Using stock phrases such as:-
    "Put the wood in the hole" & "Born in a barn, were you?" spring to mind when a door is left open in the house.
    "Paint it! Don't tickle it." When the wife or my nephews are being all coy with a paint brush when helping me do any painting.

    I'm also coming up with my own, "Polar bears are dying, you know?" whenever my missus leaves a light on in a room she's just come out of. The wife being a tree hugging, save the world, save the whale, save the cheerleader hippy type of person.
     
  9. My dad was really old when I was born, so I've not really picked much up from him, except the odd one like-

    "Stand outside this pub. I'll be back in five hours."
     
  10. My Dad did that too, and he gave me a tin to rattle with a sign around my neck: "haven't eaten in 2 days". He'd pop out every 20 minutes or so to empty the tin then dive back in again to drink the profit.

    I suppose that taught me that begging is for losers, so he wasn't all bad.
     
  11. He had it off to a tee really. If we walked back into the house after a day out and my mum said, 'Ooooh, it's freezing in here' my dad would then disagree and massively overcompensate by pretending it was really hot. He'd be stood there shivering in a vest saying things like 'Leave that heating off Sadie, it's like fooking Benidorm in 'ere'.

    On Rigsby's and Norman's pub desertion point, I made a lot of friends, stood outside the Albert in Rusholme, chatting to all the other kids whilst their dads necked the housekeeping. Whenever my kids are chimfing about the sweet rations, I just say 'Count yourself lucky. I used to be able to make a coke and a bag of crisps last 2 and a half hours...........IN THE RAIN'
     
  12. I haven't used the old pearler that my dad likes to use when you complain it's cold in his house.
    "You don't know the meaning of cold. When I was a kid we used to sit around a candle. And when it was really cold, we used to light it." Oh how nobody ever fucking laughs when he trots thast one out.
     
  13. "stood outside the Albert in Rusholme, chatting to all the other kids whilst their dads necked the housekeeping. Whenever my kids are chimfing about the sweet rations, I just say 'Count yourself lucky. I used to be able to make a coke and a bag of crisps last 2 and a half hours...........IN THE RAIN'"........ Normal day in Manchester then?.Did you ever here of any other bod doing star jumps at the A.C.I.O?. 8O :D :D :D
     
  14. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    My Dad only hit me once when I was growing up. Mind you he was in his Volvo doing 30 at the time.
     
  15. Did you punch his lights out?