Went in the pub last night and there's two knob heads sitting at a table, I saw one showing the other a piece of dope. Just as he held it under his mate's nose it sprang from his fingers and arched through the air heading for terra firma. For a moment they sat there looking blankly at each other, then in synchronised stupidity jumped out of their seats and embarked on groveling around on the ground like a pair of hungry pigs. However, I had never lost sight of said piece of flying shitty stuff and could see they were searching no where near. Not a very busy pub and well within earshot of the Landlord, who is about 6' wide and built like a brick sh1t palace. I approached the dozy pair - nice and clearly I enquired "Lost something lads?" One of them, just looked at me very worried... the other who naturally WAZ DE BRAINZ said "Oh yeh mate, I've lost a contact lense." Nice and loud I replied, "No sh1t, that's real bad luck." then proceeded to pick up the piece of dope with complete act of total sarcasm and nice loud "Oh look what I've found here landlord - a piece of dope." The landlord got the message and said pair got the heave....o. And I got a free pint.