I've just been caught

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by thecoops, May 15, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Just been caught watching porn and the mrs hates me
  2. are the two linked in any way?
    • Like Like x 2
  3. your crap i'm a ninja master and watch it in bed when shes asleep and knock one out
    • Like Like x 2
  4. You didnt have a full stop so I'm assumed a bit got missed off when you tried to post, but I've put it back for you. No need to thank me.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. What an excellent idea - you should patent it and claim exclusivity.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. I usually getaway with it but this time she caught me now it's the end of the world
  7. HHH

    HHH LE

    Look on the bright side, it could be worse, she could have caught you making porn with the dog!!
  8. what so she is a grown woman and didn't think you wanked or watched porn
    • Like Like x 2
  9. Just be honest and tell her that if she were better in the sack you wouldn't need to watch as much!

    Failing that, let her go to bed, watch porn then sneak up and plough her back gates. Post pictures too, will help the divorce case!
  10. H3

    H3 LE

    The question is though ...... What type of Porn .... Scat , bukkake ..... Or maybe Teen !!!
  11. I told mine straight, 'If your not going to let me throw one up your hoop then I'm watching porn'

    I'm single now and not bound by such restrictions...well, when it comes to porn at least.
  12. She only gave birth a week ago and her hormones are all over the place.
  13. I used to use a PSP for storing pr0n, and surfing the web with the aim of knocking one out covertly when in bed. It was a pain in the arse though, converting the flv files to mp4's. The the wife got herself an HTC Legend, and I immediately saw the possibilities. A portable art video and pic collection disguised as a phone. Jackpot!

    I now have the Desire HD as a phone, which just happens to have a 16gig card in it stuffed full of all the art a man could almost wish for, and no need for conversion. Rockplayer and Dolphin HD FTW.

    I was caught a few weeks back when she was supposed to be in bed, and I was watching TV downstairs, but as she already knows I am a wanker, and wasn't pestering her for a change, she said nowt.
  14. HHH

    HHH LE

    Surely she doesn't give you any trouble, not according to the second line of your sig. block???

  15. All the more reason to rattle her gates! A lactating bird with a nice sore anus to go at.. What the fuck are you wasting time on here and wanking for ffs.
    • Like Like x 1