It's your Funeral.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Didosdadsdogsdead, Mar 2, 2005.

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  1. Was filling out one of them last will and testament forms the other day and came to the bit about funeral arrangements which got me thinking about what sort of funeral would suit me.
    Just imagine you have met the Grim Reaper and shuffled off through the Pearly Gates (unless you have been reading the Mong thread), you've been to the QM's and drawn your harp and wings, and there you are, sitting on a nice comfy cloud and eyeing up the Vestal Virgins, suddenly a gap appears in the mist and behold, you are watching your own funeral.........what would you like to see??.
  2. Cut up into breach sized pieces, and shot out of 105's over salisbury plain.
    Marvellous! The smell might make everyone hungry though.....

    Either that or used in a james bond film as a stunt body. Eg falling 20 floors covered in flames. See bill hicks' commentary on using terminally ill people as stunt doubles. Not as wrong as the mong thread, but still wrong.
  3. Cardboard box coffin...burn-baby-burn...ashes used for fertiliser for a sapling. 8)
  4. I wouldn't want to hear people who didn't like me in life saying nice things about me at my funeral. I hate hypocrites, and would be forced to let loose a rain of piss on their heads from heaven. Having said that, I want every woman who ever dumped on me to be crying miserable tears of regret. And if hauntings are possible, I'm going to have one hell of a blast in the after life. :twisted:
  5. I am not planning on stuffing it. :D
  6. Same as he one Churchill had
  7. Can't beat that one ORC.
  8. As long as I die with my boots on, I'm not too worried. I must admit though, as I am a bit "new agey" Dozys idea sounds good, make mine a Silver Birch. :D
  9. Set adrift in a burning long-boat so that I might be taken away by the Lady of the Lake :p

    Hopefully somewhere busy like Calais so the bloody french suffer at my hands for once. :twisted:
  10. Cut me up and feed me to a few dogs, then when they shit on the pavement, I can cause as much grief to everybody who steps in me :twisted:
  11. Buried at sea on the 23rd December, with a bugler and a bagpiper in attendance. :twisted:

    Oh yes, and it will have to be in UK waters..
  12. Why the specific date Bernoulli, has Santa put out a contract on you? 8O
  13. Yeah, and what happens if you expire on 24th December one year? Shove you in the deep freeze or something?
  14. Similar to BigJobs initial thoughts......

    Deploy six light guns onto Salisbury Plain.
    Divide my ashes into the relevant number of 105 Cart cases, then start off proceedings with the massed pipes and drums of the Royal Artillery playing Highland Cathedral. Then move on to the 1812 Overture, firing the guns at the appropriate time, firing live with a nice combination of Illum, HE and Smoke. 8) :twisted:
  15. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    A celebrated Bisley veteran had his ashes scattered by firework rocket over the range during the imperial meeting last year or close I think!