Obviously, the complete breakdown of civilization is going to happen sooner or later, plunging us all into a dystopic, post-apocalyptic nightmare of survival against unimaginable terror. I know this is true because the Government tell me it isn't going to happen. So, it could happen in any number of ways, and as usual Hollywood leads the way: * Environmental catastrophe a la The Core, Armageddon, The Day After Tomorrow and so on. Survival will depend on how much fur-lined North face kit you have, as well as arctic rat packs, or alternatively whether you have a space shuttle and a small nuclear weapon in the loft. This being ARRSE, I'd say there was a chance of that happening. * Breakdown of Law and Order a la Mad Max (fuel deprivation), 28 Days Later (chemical craziness), The Omega Man (which has to be the coolest End of The World movie EVAR!) whereby you will need a leather jacket, a selection of home made melee weapons, a punk haircut and a really fast car that runs on ethanol. * Spiritual Craziness a la Dawn of the Dead (Hell comes to Earth) or Quatermass III. I'm sure you can think of others. Anyway, we all know it's going to happen, it's going to be horrible and what will make it worse is that all those wanky spam survivalists will be laughing their kevlar, DPM socks off. Some questions to open a reasoned discussion: 1. How do you think the world will end? Civil war? Nuclear accident? Environmental catastrophe? Zombie plague. I favour zombie plague, mainly because I walked into Primark in Kingston yesterday and was very scared by what I saw. 2. How would you turn your drum into a post-apocalyptic survival zone? I had a good look at my modest Victorian semi yesterday and began sketching rough FIBUA-defensive position type diagrams. Razor wire would clash with my nice sash windows, but needs must. 3. Weapons. Obviously, I'm going to drive my freshly up-armoured VW Golf to the nearest TA armoury and ransack it. Or a sports shop, where there would be a large selection of baseball bats and golf clubs for close-up work. Any other ideas? 4. Where to flee? Once the horde start breaking down the heavily-armoured doors of my house I'm going to bundle the family into the escape tunnel and get in the jam jar and head....where? I can imagine the M25 being the last circle of hell, full of Mad Max stylee road warriors. Where should a respectable post-apocalyptic survivor flee with his family? Godalming is out. So is Brighton, because trust me the place is already full of bizarre gothic hippies who look straight out of a end of the world movie. It can only get worse. 5. Fellow survivors. Of course, it would superficially be nice to find yourself trapped in a house with, say, an upper sixth form Netball team but let's face it they'd be crap fighting off fifty feral zombie vagrants. The sad truth is that you'd rather get thrown in with a load of horrible hairy squaddies who were completely nails and would probably enjoy the scenario anyway. Any ideas as to who, exactly. So, just a few pointers re. the End of the World. Discuss. I'm putting together a small aide memoire to supplement the excellent government one I used as a doorstop last year before burning. V!