"its the army or me" how to break it.......

Discussion in 'Lonely Hearts' started by hoohaha, Nov 10, 2005.

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  1. Herein lies my predicament : I have been seeing this doris for nearly a year now and she has grown rather, shall we say attatched.
    I start basic in January and the stupid bint has only just realised that this will mean a huge reduction in 'luvvy duvvy quality time' together, consequently I have realised that this will be the end of a lot of very regular duvet dancing. ( just goes to show how differently male minds work to those of lumpy jumpers)

    Anyhoo, for some reason she has decided to issue me with an ultimatum:

    "Its the army or me" she snorted, "If you join the army thatll be the end of us"

    Now, obviously Im going to fcuk her off out of it, seeyoulater.com, goes without saying but how do I put it to her?

    Is this a common problem, or have I been swapping DNA samples with a borderline headcase?

    Over to you chaps and chapesses.............
  2. border line headcase
    mag to grid fella!
  3. You fall for that one mate and she'll fack you over for the rest of your life. Once she thinks she can control you, that's it.

    F*ck her off and do it before January. Better still, tell her you've dropped the idea and then bugger off without telling her.
  4. Wahtever you tell her, do it just after the last duvet dance. Remember, timing is everything.
  5. Yeah I was thinking, string the bint on for a bit, then a couple of days before I leave, tell her then, just as i'm wiping my c*ck on her curtains.

    That should do the trick

    Anyone else had any similiar experiences?
  6. msr

    msr LE

    If she knows what's good for her she will realise this is training for marriage.

  7. Tell her that over the last few weeks you've slowly fallen in love with her mum. It's an unrequited love so clearly her mum will know nothing about it hence no blame attachment from your girlfriend. The mum, being flattered and generally in a good mood, will console her daughter while you roadrunner off to your new posting and new adventures. Definitely a goer that one :)
  8. A true romantic!

    Get rid. The old washing machine joke about dumping your load in 'em and not following you for weeks.......

    I stayed with the lass I was seeing when I joined after a similar ultimatum. We talked through. We stayed together. We even got married.

    We also got bored and never really got on after THAT conversation and sooner or later it all fell apart. All it did was cost me 4 years of singly style shagging that should have gone with the 4 years of singly style drinking. :wink:

    Got older, couldn't drink so much, found a better one who fell in with the career thing :lol:
  9. Just say to her

    'The army means more to me than a two-bit whore, see you'

    And walk off.

    Prefably do this just after doing the deed on her (and any sisters she may have).
  10. Don't you believe it msr, do you know what food is most likely to kill the sex drive in a woman?

    ... Wedding Cake
  11. Drop her now. Cheaper at xmas as well :)
  12. You know what? I had this very problem when I was a young lad.

    I was an elite player of the cult fantasy role-playing game Dungeons and Dragons. I was known as Xorg The Invincible, a 58th Level Cleric of the Fire God, Bob. I would spend up to four nights a week being Xorg, away from my girlfriend at the time, Rachel. She was a civilian in that she didn't play Dungeons and Dragons. Loser.

    Anyway, I was fighting my way through the Mist Dungeon of Zoborgox, having been given a quest to retrieve the Mighty +5 Widget of Harmonious Something. It was very exciting, in fact I had to miss taking the girlfriend to the pictures to see The Breakfast Club. Or was it St. Elmo's fire? it was a long time ago.

    After I/ Xorg (yes, it got confusing sometimes) had defeated the arch-demon Dave and won the Widget, Rachel said to me, "It's either Dungeons and Dragons or ME!"

    Rachel was a doe-eyed brunette with bee-stung lips, nice tits and long legs. I hung up my +4 mace and we retreated to her parent's bedroom, never to play with a bright orange twenty-sided dice ever again.

    No life-changing decisions are ever easy to make, are they?


    Seriously though, tell he you've dropped the idea then before you leave tell her you're going out to get her a present, then just run.
  14. Keep her on the simmer so you can get your end away when you are in the same town. Simple.
  15. I say do it by text message, it'll only cost you 10p and will save you the agro of her clinging to your legs as you try and walk out the door...