its that day again

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by junkfood, Oct 31, 2007.

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  1. its that day again when im forced to leave the car at work and let the dogs sit at the frount door, fill a super soaker with piss.

    thats right its national chav knocking on my door day damanding sweets and money

    i was away last year my wife was a right mess for afew days after so this year i will be fully prepared
  2. Where the hell do you live?! 8O
  3. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I think he is HRH and lives in a big house on The Mall.
  4. Beirut??
  5. Are you seeking volunteers for your local defence force?

    Try this.....

    Buy box of the ambassadors fave choccies, unwrap and eat them (keeping the wrappers).
    Buy cooking chocolate and brussels - see where this is going yet???
    Cook the brussels and then smother in choc. Wrap and give to kids when they come round.....

    Or, Toffee onions instead of toffee apples :twisted:
  6. i live on one of those estates that has mostly been sold of to civys ine side of the road is mq the other is mostly benafit cheats and the dregs of society

    i have a realy large gun dog that will be positioned in the front garden its on the property so if he bites there its not my problem legaly any how
  7. thank god there's none of that shit in Germany
  8. What you need is a Colin !!
    He has this knack of jumping up at the front door (clear glass) and just stares straight ahead. The perfect chav deterrent.......
  9. They use to have form in the 1930's but just took the people away. :twisted:
  10. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I have Henry that does that, and growls, drools and menaces. But perhaps a dog would be better.
  11. now that amuses me, I'm off to lidls for onions and chocolate
  12. When the little darlings come a knocking tonight give them little chunks of poo wrapped in Quality Street foil.
    A guarantee they wont be back next year :D
  13. Find an unoccupied house and break in as soon as it gets dark, unpack your bergan and lay out the treats you have prepared.

    Spend the rest of the evening opening the front door with a benevolent smile on your face (practice this first in the mirror if it doesn't come easily to you) then lavish poisoned sweets and chocolate bars on every spotty chav with a cheap monster mask and bedsheet round his shoulders who demands "trick or treat".

    The last few 'treats' you issue can have razor blades or needles pushed inside them if it amuses you. At the end of the evening simply pack up and leave the way you came. Check you have left nothing behind and that there is no obvious forensic evidence that could link you to that ahhem.....other ahem.....where you got a bit...erm.. 'carried away' last month.
  14. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Lidls, how common. I thought you were better than that TOP :wink:
  15. Do you think I'm going to go to M&S/sainsburys/tescos and get them decent chocolate/toffee? The savings I make can be put towards a worthy cause, ie a bottle of rum