It's my Birthday

Discussion in 'Old & Bold' started by IssacHunt, Mar 29, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. On Saturday April the 2nd I will be 47.
    At 11:05 I shall raise a glass of red wine and toast my dear Mother, for this is the exact time that I entered the world in 1964.
    My girlfriend has informed me that she has booked a table, I was thinking that a game of snooker would be great, alas she booked a table at a posh restaurant, she's a Babe.
    All the best to you who read this,
  2. Do you have a spider farm or do you just attract cobwebs.
  3. At 47 you'd think you'd know some decent jokes.
  4. If you're in the Czech Republic, have you allowed for the time difference? It'd be a shame if you had to do it all again an hour later.

    Mother wouldn't be golden brown, but black and charred.
  5. So its not your Birthday is it. Or is it the 2nd of April today, let me look, no its fooking not. A Birthday walt. Seen it all now.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. I didn't know they regularly transported pipe organs around the Isle of Sodor. :? How curious. I should think a harmonica or a kazoo would have been handier when tramping about in the bush.
  7. To you people who post replies which are less than flattering. I offer you the opportunity to say it to my face. Come on over, PM me for travel details, why not? unless you are the spineless ***** that I think you are. Put your money where your big mouths are. If not then **** off.
  8. Oh my god, Its my Birthday in August, tell you what i will go on the internet and tell people, cos they will send me presents and ice cream and balloons, and i will cry and be a internet hardman if people dont sing Happy Birthday in twenty different languages.

    I mean its like we a give a fook
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Christ, do you want someone to throw a big ******* gay parade about your speshul day?! Bore off and hope you have a shit day in some hostel-esque mansion getting a scrotal sack removal followed shortly by a nice lemon bath.

    Mwah x
  10. Thank you for your reply. Still haven't received your PM though!
  11. Another keyboard hardman.
  12. What a nice website this is. I just happened to post my birthday, is that such a big thing that you feel the need to post such aggressive replies? I'll not post here again. Thank you.
  13. Is that picture actually you? If so, I'd have put you much closer to 57...
  14. Check Inbox you ******* cry baby. PM sent. It goes a little along the lines of this:

    Why in the blue **** would I want to fly to the Czech Rep. to embarrass a paunch sporting middle aged unfunny wannabe internet hardman lothario?! I have a life which doesn't involve being fixated on an internet forum and crying when people don't wish me happy birthday like some sort of speshul downey type man child.

    Loves, Clunge.