its gonna be bigger than the lottery !!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by shortfuse, Oct 10, 2005.

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  1. i had this idea about 0400 saturday morning, after a VERY heavy evening ...

    i like to call it "air tight bingo"

    take 3 men and one (willing if possible) female.

    paint a number on all three c0cks, and two fingers each, on two of the blokes.

    bloke one has number 1 on his wang , and 2 and 3 on his fingers and he insets into the front bottom, and put his numbered fingers up the birds nostrils.

    bloke two , has 4 on his wang .... no numbers on his fingers, and he enters by the back door

    bloke three has 5 on his wang , six and seven on his fingers, and these are inserted in the ladies mouth, and earholes respectively.

    you then take bets on a number ... and after a drum roll bloke number two starts kidney punching her .... first digit to pop out wins...

    it's a f ucking winner gents ... prime time saturday night viewing, with a clebrity special planned for christmas.

    your thoughts please.
  2. Like those clever inventions on the telly; simple but effective. Why didn't someone think of this before.

    I'm standing and saluting Shortfuse.
  3. :lol: :lol: :lol: Rofl Id watch it
  4. Surely the punches should be applied by an Independent Draw Master? Or maybe a member of the audience.........
  5. and if she tries to talk or scream ... she truly will be

    "the voice of the balls" :D
  6. You just have to make sure Dayglo Dale Winton doesn't try for your 8 ball while you're not looking :8O: :lol:
  7. RTFQ


    The kidney punch is neither entertaining nor effective. What you need is a celebrity punter.

    Imagine, all the numbered appendages are engaged and the lass is slowly turning red, then cyanosed from the lack of oxygen, then Jade Goody in a clown outfit steps up, makes a Johnny wilkinson pose to a drum roll, then runs up in her clown shoes and punts our tumbola in her solar plexus. Classic TV in the making.
  8. Application forms available yet shortfuse??

    Characteristics for contestants required please and wondered if any of the ARRSE ladies were thinking of applying for this entertaining position?
  9. I’m not sure if a woman being kidney punched while she has a c0ck in her mouth is going to get pass the ever watchful eye of health and safety.
    I can see vital body parts being severed as she chomps down in pain.

    Could all her teeth be kicked out by a size 12 boot so as to keep the game safe and fun?
  10. Alternatively place false teeth in all other orifices to level the playing field a bit. Just ups the ante on the risk factor.
  11. I don't think dental treatment is needed - after all, we have enough recidivist rapists & paedophiles for a the next few years.
  12. Masses of different lubricants could be introduced into the procedings - custard, strawberry jelly, KY, peanut butter, Flora - you get the idea. They cuold sponsor the whole event.

    It could have a different sponsor each week, the more outrageous, the better.

    "....... and tonight, live from Channel 5 (it would have to be Channel 5 wouldn't it), hosted by Cathy Staff, sponsored by Castrol GTX...... IIiiiiiiiiittttt's Shortfuse's Air Seal Lottery". Cue rounds of applause .........
  13. RTFQ


    We could have an after-the-watershed special, whereby all the appendages are superglued into place after the girl has been fed a Chicken Phal, 5 pints of carling and 3 packs of dry lemon screech. Then Khan rabbit punches her in the gut to the Benny Hill tune
  14. I have read it over and over again and still cant figure it out! Would need to see it being put in practice. I will go back and read it again I think!
  15. Are you volunteering to be the first woman on “Shortfuse's Air Seal Lottery” ??
    I’ll be bloke no. 3 so long as I can remove your teeth first, safety is important.