Its friday time to smile

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by jaybee2786, Jun 22, 2007.

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  1. If this doesn't crack a smile, nothing will!!!
    A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
    squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
    She went back to ! find out what was going on. He was quite
    embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been
    circumcised and he was quite itchy.
    The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was
    To telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He
    did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion
    at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to
    find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
    "I thought I told you to call your Mom!" she said. "I did," he
    "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd
    come and pick me up from school."
  2. I crashed my car into the back of someone the other day,
    a dwarf climbed out and said 'i'm not happy',
    i said' go on then, which one are you'

    makes me laugh
  3. nd on that note,

  4. I went to the doctors for my annual check up the other day
    she said "you've got to stop wAnking"
    "why?" I said
    "Because Im trying to examin you" she said

    I'll get me coat
  5. Me, Docotr can you look at my kn0b?
    GP, Ok get it out
    Me, Ok
    GP, fcuk me it's like a rocket
    ME, Aye the wife's over the moon with it
  6. Tony blair assassinated by lone gunman SAC Paul Goodfellow RAF REGIMENT
  7. You said smile not ******* rejoice!
  8. crashed my new skoda today, Fcuking jam and sponge everywhere!!!

    A dead taliban found float in michael baarymores pool,
    apparently he was a suicide bummer!!

    I'll get my coat
  9. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Bloke goes to the doctor for advice.

    "Doctor, my wife is acting really strange, what should I do?
    The doc asks about the symptoms and the bloke describes them.
    "Well", says the doc, "from what you say it could be either Altzheimers or early symptoms of aids".
    "What should I do then?"
    "Put her in you car, drive 20kms away and leave her in a forest"
    "and then?"
    "If she finds her way home......... don't fück her".

    I have not even taken my coat off yet..
  10. Two snakes sat in a forest.

    First one says to the other: "Are we poisonous?"

    "Dunno why?" Says the second.

    "Cos i just bit my lip"

    Makes me giggle.
  11. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    3. A scientist has invented a bra that stops tits bobbing up and down and nipples sticking out in the cold, his colleagues have all kicked his f**king head in.
  12. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    . Harry Potter stories are so far fetched, I mean, I can buy the fact that magic exists, maybe even unicorns but have u ever seen a ginger kid with two mates?
  13. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    7. An elderly Irish man is on his deathbed. He can feel the end isn't far off, when he suddenly notices a wonderful aroma, He realises his loving wife of 60 years is baking his favourite food, SCONES. He finds the strength to drag himself to the kitchen and as he reaches his frail, withered hand up to the table, he suddenly feels the whack of a wooden spoon, as his wife barks. F**k off, they're for the funeral

    A Cuban, a Scot, an Irish Man and a Polish man are all on a train, The Cuban takes a draw of his cigar and then chucks it out the window while the rest look on with raised eyebrows. The Cuban retorts, ah, but we have plenty of these in Cuba. The Scotsman then takes a drink of Whiskey and chucks the rest out the window saying, Aye we've plenty of that where I come from. The Irish man then picks up the Polish man and throws him out the window and says, yeah, we've got plenty of them in Ireland.