Its friday time to smile

#1
If this doesn't crack a smile, nothing will!!!
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
She went back to ! find out what was going on. He was quite
embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been
circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was
To telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He
did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion
at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to
find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
"I thought I told you to call your Mom!" she said. "I did," he
said,
"And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd
come and pick me up from school."
 
#4
I went to the doctors for my annual check up the other day
she said "you've got to stop wAnking"
"why?" I said
"Because Im trying to examin you" she said





I'll get me coat
 

Alsacien

LE
Moderator
#10
Bloke goes to the doctor for advice.

"Doctor, my wife is acting really strange, what should I do?
The doc asks about the symptoms and the bloke describes them.
"Well", says the doc, "from what you say it could be either Altzheimers or early symptoms of aids".
"What should I do then?"
"Put her in you car, drive 20kms away and leave her in a forest"
"and then?"
"If she finds her way home......... don't fück her".


I have not even taken my coat off yet..
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#12
3. A scientist has invented a bra that stops tits bobbing up and down and nipples sticking out in the cold, his colleagues have all kicked his f**king head in.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#14
. Harry Potter stories are so far fetched, I mean, I can buy the fact that magic exists, maybe even unicorns but have u ever seen a ginger kid with two mates?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
7. An elderly Irish man is on his deathbed. He can feel the end isn't far off, when he suddenly notices a wonderful aroma, He realises his loving wife of 60 years is baking his favourite food, SCONES. He finds the strength to drag himself to the kitchen and as he reaches his frail, withered hand up to the table, he suddenly feels the whack of a wooden spoon, as his wife barks. F**k off, they're for the funeral


A Cuban, a Scot, an Irish Man and a Polish man are all on a train, The Cuban takes a draw of his cigar and then chucks it out the window while the rest look on with raised eyebrows. The Cuban retorts, ah, but we have plenty of these in Cuba. The Scotsman then takes a drink of Whiskey and chucks the rest out the window saying, Aye we've plenty of that where I come from. The Irish man then picks up the Polish man and throws him out the window and says, yeah, we've got plenty of them in Ireland.
 
#16
jase2472 said:
crashed my new skoda today, Fcuking jam and sponge everywhere!!!

A dead taliban found float in michael baarymores pool,
apparently he was a suicide bummer!!


I'll get my coat
aye?? Jam and sponge??
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#17
Lady_H said:
jase2472 said:
crashed my new skoda today, Fcuking jam and sponge everywhere!!!

A dead taliban found float in michael baarymores pool,
apparently he was a suicide bummer!!


I'll get my coat
aye?? Jam and sponge??
Never watch that new-fangled televisual thing? Radio with pictures?
 
#18
Bloke comes in from work and his wife is stood in front of the mirror."Look at me she says"."My chest has dropped, ive got stretch marks every where and me hairs falling out"."pay me a compliment love".The husbend replies"your right love but your eye sight is ****ing spot on.
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
I thought I was good in bed until I found out the wife had asthma!
 

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