ITS CHRISTMAS DAY ALL IS SECURE v2

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Barrack Room Lawyer, Dec 9, 2009.

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  1. TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
    HE LIVED ALL ALONE
    IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE
    I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE
    AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE

    I LOOKED ALL ABOUT A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE
    NO TINSEL NO PRESENTS NOT EVEN A TREE
    NO STOCKING BY THE MANTLE JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND
    ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS
    WITH MEDALS AND BADGES AWARDS OF ALL KINDS
    A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND

    Oh no, not another fucking walt, that’s the eighteenth one tonight
     
  2. I love that poem
     
  3. And I bet it was a cold night in Belfast too :roll:
     
  4. Its suddenly very dusty in here!
     
  5. With feeling, from the US:-

    Oh give me a home,
    Where the buffalo roam,
    And the living room's knee deep in sh1t ...

    Try playing Python's "ho ho ho.exe"

    :lol: Bah! Humbug! :lol:
     
  6. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Get a Char you peasant!
     
  7. It was the Night be for Christmas
    There was a bit of a to-do
    Out of the darkness Came STAND TOO STAND TOO
    The Rockets and Mortars came crashing around
    All night they stood in Slit trench and Sanger
    With the explosions sounding like some Christmas Banger
    After battling all of night up came the sun
    Enemy retreating or on the run
    The special day is hers at last
    For this will be their Christmas PAST
     
  8. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    I feel sick now
     
  9. Congratulations, that is truly sh1te.
     
  10. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    It's not that fucking good!
     
  11. either someone doesn't get it or i call wah?
     
  12. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    It was the night before christmas
    He was having a wank
    Remembering the time he saw a tank
    A can of Stella and a packet of smokes
    He crys over the girls who have turned down his pokes
    Never been on tour and never served
    Over real soldiers he secretly perved
    He wanted that tour he wanted the hunt
    But all it turns out
    He's just a cunt!
     
  13. It was the night before christmas and all through the fob.
    Soldiers were snoring not beginning to sob.

    For they aren't winging crying arrses who go on about christmas
    however lots of boring walts do as they sit on their ass.

    The soldiers instead are keeping themselves up beat
    by polishing one off whilst looking at porn of the feet.
     
  14. That is just so moving.

    Now, about my dysfunctional tear ducts........................... :\')