It's Burn's night, so simple enough, favourite Burn's poem

Discussion in 'Poetry Corner' started by Fang_Farrier, Jan 25, 2012.

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  1. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Address to The Toothache

    My curse upon your venom'd stang,
    That shoots my tortur'd gums alang,
    An' thro' my lug gies mony a twang,
    Wi' gnawing vengeance,
    Tearing my nerves wi' bitter pang,
    Like racking engines!

    When fevers burn, or argues freezes,
    Rheumatics gnaw, or colics squeezes,
    Our neibor's sympathy can ease us,
    Wi' pitying moan;
    But thee-thou hell o' a' diseases-
    Aye mocks our groan.

    Adown my beard the slavers trickle
    I throw the wee stools o'er the mickle,
    While round the fire the giglets keckle,
    To see me loup,
    While, raving mad, I wish a heckle
    Were in their doup!

    In a' the numerous human dools,
    Ill hairsts, daft bargains, cutty stools,
    Or worthy frien's rak'd i' the mools, -
    Sad sight to see!
    The tricks o' knaves, or fash o'fools,
    Thou bear'st the gree!

    Where'er that place be priests ca' hell,
    Where a' the tones o' misery yell,
    An' ranked plagues their numbers tell,
    In dreadfu' raw,
    Thou, Toothache, surely bear'st the bell,
    Amang them a'!

    O thou grim, mischief-making chiel,
    That gars the notes o' discord squeel,
    Till daft mankind aft dance a reel
    In gore, a shoe-thick,
    Gie a' the faes o' Scotland's weal
    A townmond's toothache!
  2. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Now that is cheating FF. This is more an advert for your profession than a favourite shurely?

    I do like Tam o' Shanter personally. Lots of bevvy, hallucinations, wifely wrath - just a typical ARRSE night out! :)
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    It does rather describe toothache well I think!

    ToS is good, if the reciter can remember it all correctly!
  4. Only a true Scottsman can complain for sooooo long about something as trivial as toothache.