It burns the burning ring of fire!

Inspired by the curry I had last night.
Anyone else have any good stories about curry?
Mine goe's a bit like this.Last night I had possibly the hottest thing I've ever eaten it was called a phal (think thats how its spelt).Its been the only thing I've ever eaten that burned more on the way out than on the way in.
H'm. I think that's one of those things that only exist in the UK, and which the curry men prepare with baffled smiles for your amusement.

I came in off ex and went out for a curry - fell asleep, face first into the Madras. Now that was hot....
I take two precautions after a good curry or mexican chilli meal

1. Lots of salt on the curry helps, the gurkas taught me that.

2. If I know it will be a bad one then a good dollop of vaseline up the ringpiece does wonders.

probably too much information but hey..... :roll:
lastresort said:
H'm. I think that's one of those things that only exist in the UK, and which the curry men prepare with baffled smiles for your amusement.

I came in off ex and went out for a curry - fell asleep, face first into the Madras. Now that was hot....
Better than going into a korma.

Hat, coat, goodnight.
I tried a phal once, from the Greek in Bordon, hated every last mouthful, and I like a curry! Burning/numb lips, very rough the next day. Not fun at all to eat! Pointless in my opinion. I like a hot curry, but there has to be flavour somehwere.

My arse was red raw for a few days.
Prior to having a curry, I always prepare by putting a bog roll in the fridge before I go out, and topping up the water in the toilet, as my arrse always goes down for a drink!!!
Curry? No thanks!

Not on a night out in your average curry house anyway.

It'll be late at night - bad time to eat a large meal - bad time to eat full stop.

Then what do you do - you drink gallons of liquid before, during and after -bad thing to do - very bad - all you're doing is diluting your digestive acids - food is slopping about in all that beer and making your body work harder at a time when it doesn't want to be doing it, thank you very much.

Breakfast like a King - lunch like a Prince - dinner like a pauper.

That does not fit in with the average lifestyle though - tough - suffer!
We cant even begin to discuss hot curry without a reverential nod to Cpl. "Yantz" Harrison, late of the 17/21 Lancers.
Yantz had a simple measure by which he judged all lesser mortals, the ability to eat a plate of his homemade Saturday night special, or be forever judged as a big wet susan.
Its been twenty years since I took the challenge. I still have no sense of taste or smell, hair will not grow up my nose, and my arse has been cauterised and rendered immune to piles.

Cheers Yantz.
Well, you did miss out the one in between, the vindaloo. The idea is to work up the heat ladder to acclimatise, not just dive into the hottest curry available. My thoughts are with you thought, those phaals are nasty bastrds. Oh, and always have a raita available when eating the hot ones, takes some of the stinging away from the mouth.
We had a pay clerk who was mad keen on curry. So much so that he actually burned the lining of his stomach and intestines and had to stay off them for nearly a year.

We also had a guy who fell off assualt course wall, got SLR barrel up his jacksie and ripped his ring piece and intestines up. First thing we did we he got back to us was take him for a curry. As he still had a bag on the side, the curry burbled through almost immediately and he got a boil-in-the-bag ready meal!

My how we laughed!
I used to take my troop out for the "pahl challenge", 18 phals, 18 chappatis and that was it! One of the funniest sights known to man, teras puke, and sweat, brilliant!
Went to a curry house with 5 mates after an afternoon on the pop. 1st lad orders a normal chicken curry and then went for a lash. We swiftly changed his order to a chicken phal. Waiter was loving it. Food turns up and we set about eating ours as matey boy starts sweating for england with his 'hot as molten lava' phal. After about 5 minutes of "Hows your curry? Its nice......" we told him the truth and had a good old laugh. Eventually the bill arrives and we spoofed for who was going to pay the whole bill. Yep, phal boy lost and had the pleasure of paying for not only his ringstinger, but also all our scran and beers. Nice one!!!
I found drinking milk after a hot curry helps. This appears to reduce the effects of chillies. I usually have a pint of milk after a good night out with the guys.

Apart from that wet wipes kept in the fridge help if its a full after burn!
I had a curry one night at a Sikh restaurant in Hong Kong. I hadn't asked for a particularly hot one but this blew my head off. I kid you not my heart was pounding and I could hear a ringing in my head. I hoped it was the fire brigade to come and put out the fire in my belly.

Never again,
On leaving one of many pubs visited during one of my leaving do's was heading to the curry house hands in pocket attempting a straight line down the road. Possibly down to blurred vision and eagerness for scoff I failed to notice the pavement leap up and grab my feet :x resulting in frantically trying to remove hands from pockets before face hits the ground. Needless to say my hand coordination was equal to my footing and face took the impact on the deck.

Not one to let minor inconvenience get in the way of a good curry we then proceed to scoff something I can't pronounce sober washed down with a bottle of the establishments finest blue nun.

I woke in the morning, thought whaaaat the fcuk :? and on looking in the mirror saw half a tooth missing with the nerve end exposed.

Anyway the point being that far from receiving any sympathy I got a day full of sh!te for stooping as low as blue nun wine.

looking like the elephant man didn't help either..and the resulting ring sting was dulled to acceptable compared to the pain in the gob.
big_mad_ejit said:
saintstone said:
Oh, and always have a raita available when eating the hot ones, takes some of the stinging away from the mouth.
Or a lassi for afters - I find that calms things down a good bit
Lassie for afters?

How exactly should you serve the dog then?

Collie and custard?

In 1983I was a post-grad at Durham. Every Wednesday I used to go for a vindaloo with my mate John. He used to mix his curry all in together to eat it, whereas I used to eat the meat first and then the rice. One wednesday after dining, we were sttod outside the curry-house, when john suddenly put his hand out to steady himself against the rstaurant window and then heaved up the just-eaten curry.

As the fumes from his vom cleared, there steaming on the pavement was a technicolour yawn. amazingly, the rice and meat had magically spearated in his digestive system and there lying on the pavement was a layer of rice, with a layer of meat/curry on top.

Now I have asked scientists and medics for an explanation of this miraculous phenomenon but the great minds of two continents remain unable to satisfactorily explain this. I will never forget that night because I pulled a bar maid from the infamously seedy Q-ball Club later. The next morning her 17 year old daughter brought me tea and a sandwich in bed and advised me to eat/drink up quickly as her father would be home of the oil rigs about lunchtime!

Strangely enough I didn't finish the post-grad course...

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