It’s A Wonderful Life

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by alib, Jul 16, 2013.

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  1. A fragment on The Firearms Blog
    My bold, how many classic movies would be improved by the hero going ape with a modern sporting rifle? Twelve Angry Men, The Grapes Of Wrath, Mr Deeds Goes To Town, Harvey, all could be greatly enhanced by an lookie likee AK-47 and a backpack full of nail bombs.
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  2. That goes for pretty much every film ever made really.
    Imagine if superman was just a really hard cunt and flew around laser eye blasting folk and threatening governments just for a laugh, it'd be a much better movie.
    Hi Mr kim jong un, not sure if you noticed but I'm a cunt in a cape who can fly, see that guy there....bzzzzzzzt, ha ha melted him with my fuck off you little slanty eyed bastard or you're next.

    What if Alladin had been slightly more intelligent and wished for stuff like attack helicopters and loads of smoking hot chicks with barely any clothes, or the beast had lost it and killed every cunt in the village, ok it might not have been a Disney movie but fuck it.

    Tranformers, fuck off, if I had a car that could turn into a killer robot, I'd be attacking Belgium within the hour......

    I suppose Bond would get left alone as he really does kill every cunt and shag all the chicks.......

    But yeah most films could be made a lot better if the Hero was in fact "a orrible cunt".......
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  3. Brideshead Revisited would have been enhanced (and shortened) by a major gun battle at the scene where the head woopsie has supper for all his chums in his college rooms in Oxford.

    Not because of the gay angle you understand, just because they were a bunch of efite wasterals, public school hoorays and probably the next Conservative government of the day
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  4. No weddings and 5 funerals?

    Snow white and the 7 corpses?

    Debby does a drive by?
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  5. Beaches.
    I've never seen it, but I imagine Bette Midler going ape with an Uzi and a Katana would liven the film up a bit.

    Same goes for Philadelphia. Obviously insert Tom Hanks for Bette Midler.
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  6. This is pretty close:
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  7. Kes II: The bloodbath in Barnsley
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  8. The (Fresh) Remains of the Day (Staff).
    Sir Anthony Hopkins combines his butlering with Hannibal Lector- like skills in the kitchen, and with a machete and log-chipper aftermath on the croquet green.
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  9. Now that would be horrible to see.
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  10. Oh I dunno, I may have to watch out the corner of my eye like watching 2 girls 1 cup but I'd skip out of the Cineplex safe in the knowledge that Hanks had shot a dose of African slimming disease up Midler.

    Happy Feet could have done with a bit more speargun action.
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  11. I have no opinions on this theme, but 23rd century mine-starship designers whose vessels may encounter aliens on distant worlds, whilst crewed by a scantily clad Sigourney Weaver, listen up you twats.

    It's a multi trillion dollar ship you twats, throw in some light switches for f@cks sake.
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  12. Carry On Up The Khyber... but with thermobaric munitions.
    Ooooh, that's a big one nurse!
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  13. I've always thought that movie would have been better with a scantily clad Goldie Hawn.
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  14. Gettysburg needed more amtracs and LAV's that shit sucked.
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  15. The Postal Man Always Rings Twice.
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