Islam isn't really doing it for me anymore...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by AfghanKandak, Sep 6, 2011.

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  1. Don't get me wrong, the institutionalised oppression of women is great and blowing my load up bacha bazi boys is absolutely spiffing, but lately I've been feeling a bit... empty. Well, not including my back passage of a Thursday evening, but that goes without saying.

    Can anyone recommend a brand new religion for me to convert to that will fill this crushing emptiness inside me? Knee-jerk hatred of Jews would be a nice touch but is by no means essential.

    "The Comrade Wolf knows who to eat, as the saying goes. It knows who to eat and is not about to listen to anyone, it seems.” Putin
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  2. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    Have you thought of going full Jewish?

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  3. Anybody who believes the word of a child molester, you know, Uncle Talib's lad, has got a theological screw loose, imho.
  4. Dorje Shugden.

    It's for winners.
  5. No shit, Trigger. :applaud:
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  6. Snake handler?
  7. Scientology?

    You just have to watch a lot of Tom Cruise films, I think.
  8. I think you should definitely try Breatharianism.

    Followers live entirely without food or water believing they can survive on the energy in sunlight..

    Give it a month or so, see how you get on.

    Hope this helps.
  9. Catholicism has all the bumming you could want, and a former Hitler Youth as leader.
  10. Fantastic! An Afghan Kandak clone!! keep it up lad, maybe you can talk more shite than the original and shame him into going away.

    But always remember the old Pashtoon poem: "There's a boy across the river with a bottom like a peach. Alas, alack, I cannot swim."

    If you ask very, very nicely I'm sure USAID will give you 2 or 3 million for a bridge though.
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  11. You could always start a new branch of Heaven's Gate :)