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Is Walting a very Britsh problem?

Having spent 3 months in deepest darkest Phuket, Thailand I have found out where every ex-SAS/SBS member ends their days.

One broke under intense torture over a Chang beer within 20 minutes, and another confessed to being born on the plane between Scotland and Canada (hence the right to have 2 passports..) What's embarrassing, is the fact that all the walts I've met are Brits. The half cherokee/half swedish guy who served in Nam as a marine sniper even was 100% Brit. We really should have the right to take these muppets for a final trip tp the vets.
Not all ex SF personnel end up in Thailand. There are hundreds patronising the bars on the Costa Blanca. At least a dozen jumped onto the balcony in second place.
The non-mil walts were either drivers for the Kray twins or ex-chairmen of ICI.
I've just joined this forum, after 12 years of avoiding anything military and today of all days I finally got a joke that was told to me by the legendary Frank Collins. (He was the padre of ACE Mobile at the time.) I talked to him about the Iranian Embassy seige, and he said "...Yeah, I was the 2nd man on the balcony." Which in fact he was I think one of the first through a skylight. But I didn't get it at the time, as I just believed everything a SAS badged padre said...wouldn't you??!

I really didn't know this "2nd man on the balcony' thing was a joke!

RIP Frank, I finally got the joke!!


The ******* are everywhere, I met an ex-Fusilier in Anguilla about three years ago who clocked my green credentials after about 10 mins chit-chat in a bar. Difficult to escape as so few Brits on the Island that as soon as another Brit rocked up the first question was always, 'So what do you do then?' To his great delight after finding out I was in the mob, he wanted to introduce me to 'Big Dave' who ran the bar next door as he was 'ex-Them' but not to let on that I know, wink wink, nudge nudge. You can probably guess the rest but to be honest I just laughed at the fat twat who didn't have a clue that I was serving so me and my new mucker, Dave, just got royally spannered on his flick instead as any mate of Dave's, etc, etc.
exbleep said:
Not all ex SF personnel end up in Thailand. There are hundreds patronising the bars on the Costa Blanca. At least a dozen jumped onto the balcony in second place.
The non-mil walts were either drivers for the Kray twins or ex-chairmen of ICI.
:frustrated: I agree; but you don't have to travel that far'"Yerefud" Ledbury, Ross on Wye and Leominster are knee deep in the sad gits. :x
Gremlin said:
Is Walting a very British problem?

Nope, see here:

Interesting, they say

"Under the Defence Act, 1903 as amended, it is a federal offence to claim to be a returned soldier, sailor or airman, subject to six months' imprisonment and a fine of up to $3300. Further it is an offence to wear a service decoration to which you are not entitled, attracting additional penalties."

I wonder if we have anything similar, and if we do, why don't we use it?
Tartan_Terrier said:
It's by no means limited to the UK. I've met a few ex-US Special Forces Vietnam vets over here who could barely speak English.
Indeed and something like 90% of septics don't own a passport which means mos of their walts have the decency to stay in their own country


I met a british bloke in San Pedro while on a bit of r and r from Belize.

He told us all about his days in "The Regiment" but when I asked him what regiment he was originally "Sorry mate I can't tell you that"

Shouldn't it have been the other way round?
Canada has them too.

I have outed two in the past year and 3 in the last five and all in the same pub.

One was a RAF Helicopter Pilot telling derring do tales of his experiences in NI. Our hero was dodging Ground to Air missiles and dodging RPG rockets fired at him while swooping around covering the troops on the ground with his door gunners blazing away yelling "Get some, Get some".

After 5 minutes of questions (and mockery) he paid up and fecked off never to be seen again.

Knobber number two (a Canadian) strolled into the pub complete with Dessy camo, full webbing and gobbing off about how he had just got back from Helmand Province. I introduced him to an Ex-Canadian Sgt who having completed two tours in Afghan had the kid in tears within 2 minutes. Never seen him since either.

The third idiot claimed to have served in the forces and to be honest seemed genuine until he mentioned that most of his time was spent in Hong Kong. My mate Dave who HAD served in Hong Kong obviously excited about chatting with someone else who had shared the experience had him outed in less than a minute.

Tossers the lot of em.
One of the 'funniest' (looking back) I outed was a guy wearing a WRAC (Women's Royal Army Corp) badge on his baseball cap. Apparently he had been getting free beers for years with his tales. I was so angry (having just come off tour) I told him to leave, and fair dues to the spineless glory-hunting war-dodging-Walt, he did.
But don't you just love the stories?
" So there I was with me mate shot, lying on the Falls Road. I just grabbed the 84 and pushed the captain away as he tried to stop me. Sent a round right through the bedroom window and got the sniper!"

They make me sooo excited!
DarkNinja said:
But don't you just love the stories?
Personally speaking no because I've done nothing to brag about in my life and don't see sad inadequates should be getting sex or free beers for lying about tales of derring do that only exist in their imagination

However I do love it when these walters get outed in the press :lol:
DarkNinja said:
But don't you just love the stories?
" So there I was with me mate .............and got the sniper!"

They make me sooo excited!
There is one floating about up here at the moment, among other things claims to be a Professor. Priceless. The clown has 2 A levels !
Does anyone try NOT to out them? this may seem a strange thing but---

I frequent a few drinking haunts, some to do with the funny hand shake brigade, some with work. Now, I dont go around trying to find people and "out" them as to be honest, I couldnt give a chuff. But its when someone introduces you to someone else who served and tells you he was in the, and I quote - SASS etc etc. Now, what do I do, its happened a couple of times when these people were so obviously walts, but they were also senior management / senior to me / had the power to bin me etc etc. Ive tried my hardest not to accidentally out them for fear of being penniless and on the street selling my arrse for a fiver.

But whats a bloke to do, there is only so much I can take, biting of lip, stifling of laughter at tales of derring do which are so made up.

Im bound to end up with an ulcer

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