Is this yours

#1
Paddy says to Mick
"I found this pen, is it yours?"
Mick replies
"Don't know, give it here"
he then tries it and says
"Yes it is"
Paddy asks
"How do you know?"
Mick replies,
"That's my handwriting"
 
#2
Paddy loses an ear in an industrial accident and starts searching the floor for it in the hope it can be surgically reattached.
Mick saw what happened and helps Paddy look for it.
"Got it!" Exclaims Mick proudly holding up the bloodied ear.
"Nah, tat aint mine," Says Paddy, "Mine had a pencil behind it."
 

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