Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by staaken, Feb 14, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Not normally fooled by Mrs Staaken's tricks and double bluffs, but this has me stumped:

    Going to a flipping Valentine's party tonight with 3 other couples (told her I'd be missing Liverpool v Arsenal on the box, but as a gestue of love I'd forego it blah blah blah) - Mrs S says - "Ooooh, you can go halfway through dinner to the pub next door, and watch it there....."

    Is this an evil ploy? Do I want to spend the next year in the dog house?

    Should I stay or should I go?

    ARRSe advice needed - STAT!
  2. Staaken - when will you learn?

    Ladies do not approve of their menfolk disappearing half way through a 'romantic' dinner to watch football. She says you can go to make YOU think that she is being nice, but she KNOWS that you wouldn't dare, because you will have so much sucking up to do to make up for it, that you will be skint for the rest of the year just to ease your guilt.

    It is a ploy. Go, watch the footy, but be prepared!!!

    My advice - record the match and watch it after she sleeps off your post dinner shag. (Also, by missing the footy, SHE owes you one!!)
  3. hmm...dinner for 4 couples? missus playing nice? sounds like you could be going into porn film territory! goodluck...
  4. Its only a game Staaken, is it worth the bother?
  5. Yerse, I know the party is just a game - but what about the important (footie) issue?
    Thanks Legs and Cuddles, after 26 years of <ahem> bliss, I still have much to learn.......
  6. Mrs M and I will be enjoying the Liverpool v Arsenal game chez Murielson - together. You should explain that midweek parties are not the way to go and take her out on Saturday (as long as you are back for MOTD of course).

    Only a game!!?? A quote from the famous gentleman I have the pleasure of displaying as my avatar:

    Football's not a matter of life and death ... it's more important than that.
  7. When you turn up look for the following combat indicators:

    1. Are any of the other blokes dressed like plumbers, or wearing dodgy zapata moustaches?

    2. Is there a large, wipe-clean leather sofa in the room?

    3. Is there a skinny bloke with shades and a video camera sitting in the kitchen?

    4. Are there any tubs of lubricants, of any description, lying around?

    5. Is the central heating on unusually high? Has anybody said "it's hot in here!"

    6. Is the stereo playing loud music with an emphasis on going garratty with the wah-wah pedal?

    If the answer is yes to any two or more then you've just wandered onto the set of a gonzo gang-bang movie, mate. What you do next is up to you, but personally I'd be sipping a pint and watching the Gunners get stuffed.

  8. Get her to put it in writing, and fablon it......

    Most importantly, dont use a specific date...That way, you have a 'get out of jail free' card to use everytime you slope off to watch the footy...
  9. Thanks all, decided it is an evil cunning ploy, will toe the line. Got my son to text me during party. Veg, liked the porn film scenario - you seem to be on the ball in that dept.....
  10. Make sure:

    a. Your phone is on silent/vibrate!

    b. You don't let her forget the sacrifice you're making!

    Have fun tonight!! :wink:

    Edited for spelling!
  11. I was thinking that too but was too moral to post it. :lol:
  12. you call yourself a FAN?!??!??!?

    get to the game, sort out the domestic crap after we have stuffed arsenal.
  13. OK guys, can I say something .. being the opposite sex here!!! Isn't Valentines Day about enjoying each other! So sod it, if you want to watch the game and she was in love with you .. then she should let you!! .. get a bottle of wine/beers/takeaway in .. she can go and pamper herself in a hot tub and dress up and then come down and tease you .. where has the passion gone in our lives!! 8O
  14. You're a soldier? :?
  15. Staaken,

    I would be very surprised if this wasn't read out on SoccerAM this Saturday!!!