I need to impress a bird. I require a quality pie and mash shop with ells fresh every morning. Quality pies, quality mash, quality liquor with salt, pepper and vinegar on the Formica topped table. And a mug of tea. I do not wish to eat eels because they are filthy things. Retro styled Madge and Guy Richie yuppie joints where Heston Blumenthal is the executive Chef need not apply. There used to be one down the Fulham Palace road and one off of Upper Street and one between Camden Town and Somers Town but I suspect they have all been infested by ponces. Am prepared to chance somewhere with no convenient tube station but I would rather not. Thanks for any advice.