Is there anything you wish had been invented by now?

The amount of times ive heard somebody say whilst picking up the Brass on a wet and cold day "Wouldnt it be great if you could get a hoover/magnetic device to pick the brass up". If you could have that one invention to make life just that little bit easier what would it be?

 

I believe that alchemists have been searching for the elusive 'brass magnet' for millenia without success. The dustbuster option seems more sensible except that by the time it makes it through specification, tender, development, testing etc., it'll be astronomically over budget and we'll all have hovertanks and phasers.

We'll be back at square one, looking for a clever way to collect all the spent Duracells.

On a more realistic note, is it beyond the whit of man to design somewhere for CVRT operators to park thir arrses when 'head up'? I've yet to meet one with a posterior designed to fit in the space next to the radio. Or does bowman has a built in bench?

 

If there was something then I am sure if it hadn't been invented yet no one would be placing it here as they would be trying to figure out how to patent whatever it is...
IMHO


Gundulph

 

holographic environment simulator, the holodeck. This should be on the top of everyone's list then you can create your own world, never leave and WNAK yerself to a standstill. I’ve been reliably informed that crack cocaine is similar not that I would recommend this. I’m holding out for the holodeck. Is this a must have Walt toy?

 

A breathaliser for phone and computer

 

1. A cure for the common cold.

2. A cr*p filter for ARRSE submissions!

3. A way to keep smoking without [a] getting a dreadful disease, and falling foul of the Smoke Police.

 

I'd like someone to invent a machine to make time stand still so that I could sleep for 10 hours a day and not miss anything. I love sleep but it's a darned nuisance. Especially when you haven't had any for 5 days.

How about a self-cleaning rifle?

 

I would like to invent a machine or substance that made me attractive to women

still working on that one only got as far as testing a fluid that made unattractive women attractive to me figureing that If I can invent an antidote it might work.
Anti beer anyone?

 

An air force that is not "utterly utterly useless"!

 

A Microphone with built in lie detecter. Useful for interviewing MP's etc.

 

For shooting on gallery ranges or the like, spread ponchos out in the area where the brass will fall. Time saved is well worth the slight untidiness on the firing point. Training time is too important to waste rooting through the grass for brass. At least this way you can quickly get the bulk of it.

 

A reliable way of making women "disapear"

 

I believe what you have missed is the same fluid works on women, you simply have to find a suitable delivery method. Remember to use less of said fluid on yourself and make sure the woman/women get more. I am not issuing any form of guarantee by the way.
Another altenative is cash, this seems to work for some people. Cash has already been invented, and for me, already spent.

I would like to propose the non stick turd as a useful invention/discovery. This is especially useful after far too long on compo.

 

Move to Ipswich, buy yourself some rohypnol and bingo!

 

Or how about a remote for the wife?

Standard design will include:
Stop
Play
Fast Forward (For when shes being dull in or out of the sack)
Rewind (For when she comes out with the most rediculous things that you cant quite believe)

Deluxe model will include:
All of the above
Record (To show your mates how stupid/good in the sack they are)
Slow motion (For a really good nosh, or to see the look on there face as you shoot your load in their mouth)

The only catch is trying to convince them to have the micro chip inserted into their brain.