Is it wrong to pork a sailors girl?

#1
Evening chaps,

I’ve happened by some strumpet for Valentines Day, amongst all my others, it appears her beau is away on a crest of a wave serving Her Maj with those intrepid dark blue chaps, all the while she is sitting at home, fingering herself silly & awaiting his gallant return.

It just so happens this girlie I once dated briefly has messaged me on facebook, admits to taking it up the arrse & has been texting me constantly for the last few days. Now, herein lies the problem, I am actually rather partial to those matelot chaps. I remember the first time I gatecrashed a uni party down in Pompy there were a few of them about, one of them in particular had taken to crawling across the floor & licking the back of young ladies legs in order to get their attention. 8O Which I thought was quite marvellous & promptly joined him in said act! :lol: The only other service I respect as much as our glorious army is the senior service, the sons of Nelson really do cut quite a dash & I am loathe to part some plucky sailor from his tart on St Valentines Day, even though he won't be back, it really would be bad form of the highest order!

But… having said that, she is ‘technically’ single, as her status on facebook clearly states, so really I do have a green light to bend her over, part her perky bum-cheeks & shove my cokc right up her delicate ricker until it comes out her dainty little mouth. :) The only thing holding me back is the overwhelming feeling of guilt & potentially harming the dear relationship of Jack & his gal, sirs, what does a chap do in this situation?

May I add, that if he were of the light blue variety I’d have done her on principle & without remorse. :wink:

I have the honour to remain your most loyal & faithful servant, &c.

~D.C.
 
#2
Dear D.C.,
Please feel fee to copulate with as many fictional sailors' wives as you wish to. I do however wonder just how small she is if your penis is likely to exit her mouth if you do her up the back passage.

Admit it, you're planning on raping your little sister's Barbie doll, aren't you?

All the best.

T_T
 
#3
Tartan_Terrier said:
Dear D.C.,
blabla

Admit it, you're planning on raping your little sister's Barbie doll, aren't you?

All the best.

T_T
Can't say I am old boy, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been done before!

-DC
 
#6
DC, the girl in question is your hand isn't it? You once went on a P&O liner to france for a day trip and you've now, through some tenuous link, connected your boat trip and your hand together and thought about a non-existant sailors girlfriend. What you've actually done is ask us if it's alright for you to have a quick wa[/b][/b]nk on valentines day. Well go ahead fella, fill your boots!
 
#7
I thought that this might be an interesting thread which I could relate to. However, as it's the usual Hard_On rubbish I'll go and watch Steve Segal. He is more credible.

Medication time for you Hard_Chap.
 
#10
Matelots and students at the same party in Pompey? I don't fucking think so popeye. DC, you're so full of shit and not in the slightest bit amusing.
 
#11
If it is true....

1) Fuck her

2) wipe your cock on the curtains.

3) Leave.

The fact that she is has any kind of past is irrelevant. She is female, she has a pulse, and that is at least 50% of my criteria of a shag.
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#12
Can't we all chip in and get this boring cnut a lady of the night??? Please?!! It will hopefully stop his drivel.
 
#13
Dashing_Chap said:
Evening chaps,

I’ve happened by some strumpet for Valentines Day, amongst all my others, it appears her beau is away on a crest of a wave serving Her Maj with those intrepid dark blue chaps, all the while she is sitting at home, fingering herself silly & awaiting his gallant return.

It just so happens this girlie I once dated briefly has messaged me on facebook, admits to taking it up the arrse & has been texting me constantly for the last few days. Now, herein lies the problem, I am actually rather partial to those matelot chaps. I remember the first time I gatecrashed a uni party down in Pompy there were a few of them about, one of them in particular had taken to crawling across the floor & licking the back of young ladies legs in order to get their attention. 8O Which I thought was quite marvellous & promptly joined him in said act! :lol: The only other service I respect as much as our glorious army is the senior service, the sons of Nelson really do cut quite a dash & I am loathe to part some plucky sailor from his tart on St Valentines Day, even though he won't be back, it really would be bad form of the highest order!

But… having said that, she is ‘technically’ single, as her status on facebook clearly states, so really I do have a green light to bend her over, part her perky bum-cheeks & shove my cokc right up her delicate ricker until it comes out her dainty little mouth. :) The only thing holding me back is the overwhelming feeling of guilt & potentially harming the dear relationship of Jack & his gal, sirs, what does a chap do in this situation?

May I add, that if he were of the light blue variety I’d have done her on principle & without remorse. :wink:

I have the honour to remain your most loyal & faithful servant, &c.

~D.C.
You are Raffles, the ungentlemany Jackanory lying Gypo thug, and I claim my £5. Stop trying to compensate for your small cock and type the way you would actually talk. This isn't Victorian England and you bloody well know it.
 
#14
Of course it is not wrong to pork a sailors girl. You have already stated she is into anal. The thought of yourself squealing like the spotty faced little juvenile bitch you really are, as she rams her rampant rabbit up your chuff brings a smile to my face! Crack on DC old chap, crack on.
 
#15
the_matelot said:
Matelots and students at the same party in Pompey? I don't fucking think so popeye. DC, you're so full of s*** and not in the slightest bit amusing.
The student expedition had proceeded to that Tiger Tiger place or Jenny's or somewhere, I don't recall exactly as I was rather tipsy.

-DC
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#16
Dashing_Chap said:
the_matelot said:
Matelots and students at the same party in Pompey? I don't fucking think so popeye. DC, you're so full of s*** and not in the slightest bit amusing.
The student expedition had proceeded to that Tiger Tiger place or Jenny's or somewhere, I don't recall exactly as I was rather tipsy.

-DC
You need to come out of the closet.....you really do!
 
#17
Dashing_Chap said:
the_matelot said:
Matelots and students at the same party in Pompey? I don't fucking think so popeye. DC, you're so full of s*** and not in the slightest bit amusing.
The student expedition had proceeded to that Tiger Tiger place or Jenny's or somewhere, I don't recall exactly as I was rather tipsy.

-DC
No pics? If she has facebook as you said, just slap em on to here for us all to perv over.
 
#18
GeneralMayhem said:
Of course it is not wrong to pork a sailors girl. You have already stated she is into anal. The thought of yourself squealing like the spotty faced little juvenile bitch you really are, as she rams her rampant rabbit up your chuff brings a smile to my face! Crack on DC old chap, crack on.
Have you bugged my flat, sir?

-DC
 
#19
Reading back on the posts in response, I now realise this man has more drivel than a mongs handkerchief.

The idea of him trying to put his reproductive organ into a member of the weaker sex fills me of a dread that I can only overcome by a bout of domestic violence.

I'll be back in ten minutes. If she doesn't get to the phone to her parents again.
 
#20
jarrod248 said:
http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/search/search_author=Dashing_Chap.html
Can you put down the main points, I'm too drunk and sarcastic to read all 20 pages.
 

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