Evening chaps, Iâve happened by some strumpet for Valentines Day, amongst all my others, it appears her beau is away on a crest of a wave serving Her Maj with those intrepid dark blue chaps, all the while she is sitting at home, fingering herself silly & awaiting his gallant return. It just so happens this girlie I once dated briefly has messaged me on facebook, admits to taking it up the arrse & has been texting me constantly for the last few days. Now, herein lies the problem, I am actually rather partial to those matelot chaps. I remember the first time I gatecrashed a uni party down in Pompy there were a few of them about, one of them in particular had taken to crawling across the floor & licking the back of young ladies legs in order to get their attention. Which I thought was quite marvellous & promptly joined him in said act! The only other service I respect as much as our glorious army is the senior service, the sons of Nelson really do cut quite a dash & I am loathe to part some plucky sailor from his tart on St Valentines Day, even though he won't be back, it really would be bad form of the highest order! Butâ¦ having said that, she is âtechnicallyâ single, as her status on facebook clearly states, so really I do have a green light to bend her over, part her perky bum-cheeks & shove my cokc right up her delicate ricker until it comes out her dainty little mouth. The only thing holding me back is the overwhelming feeling of guilt & potentially harming the dear relationship of Jack & his gal, sirs, what does a chap do in this situation? May I add, that if he were of the light blue variety Iâd have done her on principle & without remorse. I have the honour to remain your most loyal & faithful servant, &c. ~D.C.