Think yourself lucky, I've got the wretched stuff all over me, if I allow my hair to grow to any sort of length I look like a stick of tangerine candyfloss. Most of my ghastly white body now resembles salt and pepper.....another one of Gods cruel pranks.
There are an incredible amount of people who suffer from the partial ginger curse though be it beards, sideburns, must be a shock when that starts coming through, young and carefree, mocking the pale freaks then BANG! Closet ginna.
These are the things they should teach in school, algebra? crop rotation? never once have I had to call on such things. If, however, they had explained that I would start spouting unwanted hairs out of my ears, develop unfathomably long eyebrow hairs and go grey in areas where the hair should be bright and shiney (but still strangley course and bouncy) then I wouldn't be having to suffer mild seizures everytime I look in the mirror or down at the old John Thomas and discover that my own body has turned against me.
Anyone who wants to cull the gingers is more than welcome to test their procedure with me. I suspect if you can cull cuddles, the rest of the world's gingers ought to be a cake-walk! Will I get Gordon Ramsay GWAR to knock you up a few sandwiches, you may be some time?
It is a little known fact that the Giant Space Ants who actually run the universe are in fact gingers...ginger humanoids are evidence of illicit coupling and probing of humans in pre-history by rogue GSAs. Hence the formic acid taste of a flame haired temptress' mott bush.