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Is it stupid fcuking question week??

P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#1
No...really?!?! Is it??!!

Yesterday in the pub, the slow Norris of the bar world eventually rocked up to my table with the food that I'd ordered and pipes up with...

"would you like some cutlery?" WTF?!! What do you think?? I left my racing spoon in my other jacket today, and don't really fancy using my fingers for steak and ale pie. OF course I'd like some cutlery!!

Not 20 mins ago, I was putting some fuel in my car, and the price came to £20.07. I walk in, and the bloke behind the counter says.....wait for it.....the quicker ones amongst you will know what's coming.

"do you have the 7p?" Now.....as much as like to have my trousers being pulled down by 3.4 kilos of shrapnel do you not think that I'd offer up the 7p if I had it on me?? Now, some of you would say why don't you have some spare coins in your car? The answer is that I hate the clinking, and wooshing around they do when I'm trying to impersonate which ever rally driver happens to be alive this week.

Is it "askafcukingstupidquestion week?" Please tell me it is.
 

NigG

Old-Salt
#7
Have to agree.

Got to the check out at Tescos with a basket full of shopping and got asked if I wanted a bag!!

no it's OK, if I just cradle my arms could you just load me up? thanks.
 
#8
I offered the odd pence in the CO-OP the other day and it confused the poor girl behind the counter, as she did not know what change to give me! In the end the superviser who was not that much older, says Oh you enter £10.11p tendered and the till tells you what to give back, which is then dropped (not counted) into your hand.
 
#9
NigG said:
Have to agree.

Got to the check out at Tescos with a basket full of shopping and got asked if I wanted a bag!!

no it's OK, if I just cradle my arms could you just load me up? thanks.
Mmmm, you don't do much of this shopping mularky do you?

She or he was asking because if you provide your own, they deduct the cost from the final sum. They were trying to help you ya dummy!
 
#10
What kind of mincing vegetarian would turn up with their own bags to use at a supermarket, take the free bags and then toss them out. You can then sleep smugly at night knowing that one day it may end up suffocating a badger.
 
#11
Ask the Padre "why do church steeples have lightening arrestors on them if lightening is considered an act of God?".

Takes a while but eventually the fuses blow.
 
#13
GordonBrown said:
NigG said:
Have to agree.

Got to the check out at Tescos with a basket full of shopping and got asked if I wanted a bag!!

no it's OK, if I just cradle my arms could you just load me up? thanks.
Mmmm, you don't do much of this shopping mularky do you?

She or he was asking because if you provide your own, they deduct the cost from the final sum. They were trying to help you ya dummy!
Sorry perhaps I should expand, I clearly didn't have any means of carrying the shopping home. I appreciate their concern for my finaces, but sometimes a little bit of common sense would go a miss.
 
#14
vampireuk said:
What kind of mincing vegetarian would turn up with their own bags to use at a supermarket, take the free bags and then toss them out. You can then sleep smugly at night knowing that one day it may end up suffocating a badger.
My wife! She's a pain in the arrse dragging loads of empty bags around the shops! I end up looking like that tw@t from corrie in the cafe!
 
#16
GordonBrown said:
vampireuk said:
What kind of mincing vegetarian would turn up with their own bags to use at a supermarket, take the free bags and then toss them out. You can then sleep smugly at night knowing that one day it may end up suffocating a badger.
My wife! She's a pain in the arrse dragging loads of empty bags around the shops! I end up looking like that tw@t from corrie in the cafe!
Then wait until she is sleeping and stick the carrier bag over her head, whilst she is gasping for breath and failing to find it stick a few nuts in on her face then remove the bag. She will soon stop leaving bags around the house for the next trip to Tesco.
 
#17
Ever hit your thumb with a hammer?????

YEEERRR Right first time.. "Does it hurt?" Of course it hurts, that's why I'm dancing about swearing and turning white in the face.

Stupid question.
 
#18
Stood in staff kitchen mit mug, spoon laden with Nescafe and the inevitable "are you making yourself a coffee?" question. Yes - it could well be stupid fecking question day /week / year!
 

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