Is it bad parenting...?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by maninblack, Jan 3, 2010.

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  1. You are evil and will go straight to hell.

  2. You are teaching them a sense of humour.

  1. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    Is it bad parenting to give a 3 year old a wedgie?

    Am I heading straight to hell? The Spousal Unit thinks I am evil.
  2. Nah, I used to do it all the time to my kid. Always made me laugh as his little face went red and he burst out crying
  3. Did you pull its pants right over its head?
  4. A subtle, slightly playfull tug of the pants/nappy - laughing at the same time and bonding with your child is to be encouraged...

    Suspending the DLM (Domestic Line Manager), feet off the ground, for three hours with nothing but her Dunlop heavy-industries G-string for support, whilst you hose her down with cold water and apply the Cat-O-Nine-Tails between sobs, might have something to do with it???
  5. Was it followed up by a generous skiffing?
  6. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    I don't see the pair of them in trousers much unless we are out. You know how quickly a 3 year old disrobes so I had to take advantage when I caught him in undies. His twin brother just laughed and ran away before I could catch him for the same treatment.

    No, not a thong, I wouldn't put a 3 year old in a thong. They go sideways into Adda undies to a thong would be life threatening.
  7. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    I tried a Dilbert Wedgie but they don't stretch that far.
  8. fcuking cheap pants! :D
  9. We were watching The Simpsons and Demon asked what a wedgie was...I showed her :twisted:

    She thought it was hilarious. So much so she did her best to sneak up on me to get her revenge. Strange how a five year old's sniggering gives away their intentions....

    Does the missus not realise that kids are vindictive little shites and that it's kill or be killed?
  10. You are developing their 'mental and physical robustness'. One day, DInf will thank you.
  11. Teaching a nephew to tuck his winkle between his legs then getting him to waddle into the kitchen full of festively merry adults whilst saying 'it fell off' repeatedly doesnt go down too well....neither did giving him a glass full of lemonade tinged Rioja, thus making him spew his way to an early night
  12. Teaching a nephew to tuck his winkle between his legs then getting him to waddle into the kitchen full of festively merry adults whilst saying, "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again" doesn't go down too well either.

    Some people... no sense of humour!
  13. beautiful
    truly beautiful :twisted:
  14. S_Y_N_T the younger, and far more handsome, is already trained in the art of nicking dregs. His favourites include Riggwelter and OP, he will stomach Holsten Pils and makes a face when supping Stella dregs.

    His need to satisfy his alcohol monkey on his back have advanced his movement from just shuffling around the living room at a sedate pace to shuffling across the floor that can easily compete with the dog.
  15. Personally I prefer doing it to toddlers, especially those who aren't related to me. The thrill of the stalk, watching them play on the climbing frame before formulating a plan of attack is satisfying beyond comprehension. I find the best place to get them is the funnel point at the entrance to the playground. I'll wander around occasional calling out "Elisha! Stop doing that!" and other child related crap before focussing on my victim. I usually go for the ones with parents who say "dhhhhharling" a lot or who have a copy of the Guardian under their arms.

    I approach carefully, ensuring not to drawn attention to myself until the final butt-clenching moment of triumph. This bit is easy because the little buggers have generally never been wedgied before (I always go for the ones in nappies, you'll understand why soon). Adopting a brisk walk I carefully grab the back of their nappies before pulling with all my might. Generally the nappy comes off easily and I run of giggling while the child stares in shock, but every so often the nappy holds and I end up dancing around the playground with a toddler hanging from their underwear. The police are usually sympathetic.

    But every so often I hit the jackpot; a soiled nappy. You can tell instantly because the lubed effect on the nappy allows for a slick removal, resulting in a fountain of liquid excreta flying in all directions. Most of it will return to splatter the toddler, while the rest will splatter friends and family. After these kinds of wedgies I generally have to lick myself clean in the bath.

    I often wonder why the local adoption centre continues to refuse my application to adopt.