Ironic Recruitment Limited

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Tremaine, Nov 21, 2009.

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  1. Hi, we're Ironic Recruitment Ltd, and we're inviting your adverts to find the best staff for your operation. Ironic by name and ironic by nature.

    As it happens, we've a few vacancies we'd like to advertise.

    *****FILLING STATION LAVATORY ATTENDANT*****

    "This position is an exciting and rewarding opportunity
    for the right person. We are an equal opportunities
    employer. The ideal candidate will be typical of all
    Toilet attendants up and down the country. For a start,
    you'll need to clean the toilets at busy periods, ensuring
    that busting, dribbling drivers who haven't been for hours,
    will patiently wait for half an hour behind your yellow cone.

    You'll need your wits to phone the Old Bill for flashers and
    widdlers forced to go on the grass, because you said no.

    Mopping skills are vital, there'll be plenty to mop up on the
    Shop floor. If you have vital people management skills, are
    not afraid to say "no you can't go now" , and can comfortably
    argue with every customer in a packed Shop in front of a locked
    lav, please don't hesitate to apply. You might piss it. "
     
  2. I'm starting resettlement shortly, sounds good, I'm yer man, please remove advert.
     
  3. You taking the urine mate? 8O