Hi, we're Ironic Recruitment Ltd, and we're inviting your adverts to find the best staff for your operation. Ironic by name and ironic by nature. As it happens, we've a few vacancies we'd like to advertise. *****FILLING STATION LAVATORY ATTENDANT***** "This position is an exciting and rewarding opportunity for the right person. We are an equal opportunities employer. The ideal candidate will be typical of all Toilet attendants up and down the country. For a start, you'll need to clean the toilets at busy periods, ensuring that busting, dribbling drivers who haven't been for hours, will patiently wait for half an hour behind your yellow cone. You'll need your wits to phone the Old Bill for flashers and widdlers forced to go on the grass, because you said no. Mopping skills are vital, there'll be plenty to mop up on the Shop floor. If you have vital people management skills, are not afraid to say "no you can't go now" , and can comfortably argue with every customer in a packed Shop in front of a locked lav, please don't hesitate to apply. You might piss it. "