• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Irish wrestler

#1
A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now den, don't forget all de research we've done on dis Russian. He's never lost a match because of dis 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in dat hold! If he does, you're finished.'

Paddy nodded in acknowledgment.

As the match started, the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing Paddy and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.

Suddenly, there was a long, high pitched scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and Paddy collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked 'How did you ever get out of dat hold? No one has ever done dat before!'

Paddy answered 'Well now, I was ready to give up when he got me in dat hold but at de last moment, I opened my eyes and saw dis pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so wit my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies just as hard as I could.'

The trainer exclaimed 'So dat's what finished him off?'

'Not really. You'd be amazed how strong yer get when yer bite your own nuts.
 

Latest Threads

New Posts