Irish Prostitute.

There was an Irish prostitute who worked out of Dublin. One day, she went back to visit her family's home in the countryside where her father greeted her at the door. "Oh my darling daughter," he exclaimed. "Where have you been?" "Well dad," she replied "I've become a prostitute." "What!" he yelled, furious. "Away with you, I never want to see you again!" "But dad," she protested "I've made so much money. I bought you and mom a new car and a lovely flat in the city. I've done all this for you, won't you let me in?" "Wait a minute," her father said "What is it you said you are?" "A prostitute, dad." "Ah, thank fuck for that!" he exclaimed, very relieved. "I thought you said Protestant!"
I think I should balance things.

A paddy farmer Patrick is distraught after his favourite sheepdog Molly passed away in the night, he goes to see the local priest, the priest explains in detail how the graveyard is for humans only, not for animals.

The farmer is really upset by this time, and asks what he should do with the £75,000 he was going to donate to the church.

The priest puts his arm around Patrick reassuringly, "Molly was a Roman Catholic, wasn't she?"
So the Farmer lets his daughter in, and, over a cup of tea, asks her how business is in Dublin.

"Sure it's grand, Daddy - if fact, if I had another pair of legs, I'd open in Cork".
Walking in Glasgow, I was approached by a bampot who demanded to know if I was a Catholic or a Protestant, {Jimmy}

Neither pal - I'm an Atheist.

{Pause for thought}

Aye, but are ye a Catholic Atheist or a Protestant Atheist?
Father Ryan is seated next to a Rabbi on a flight from Shannon to London.
Attractive stewardess with big tits asks the good irish father, "Cocktail sir?" Annoyed, the priest responds, "I'd sooner commit adultery."
She asks the Rabbi, "How about you, sir?"
The Rabbi responds, "I'll have what he's having."
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