Irish Medical Dictionary.

Artery: The study of painting and sculpture.
Bacteria: The backdoor to a cafeteria.
Barium: What undertakers do when medical aid fails.
Benign: What you be after being eight.
Caesarean section: A neighbourhood in Rome.
Cat scan: Looking for lost cat.
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
Colic: A sheepdog with stomach pain.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
Dilate: Longevity.
Enema: Not a friend.
Fester: Quicker than someone else.
Fibula: A little lie.
Impotent: Distinguished, Well known.
Labour Pain: Gordon Brown.
Morbid: A higher offer.
Nitrates: Better than day rates but not
as good as overtime.
Node: I knew it.
Outpatient: Unconscious person.
Pelvis: Was Elvis's Pa.
Post Operative: Works for Royal Mail.
Rectum: Nearly killed him.
Secretion: Hiding something.
Seizure: Roman Emperor.
Tablet: Small Table.
Terminal Illness: Taken sick at Airport.
Tumour: One plus one more.
Urine: Opposite to urout.
Vulva: Minge like a danish car.
Wen: How soon.
Xerosis: Female foetus.
Yellow Fever: Hereditary French disease.

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