Iraq Journo Request

#1
Allow me to emerge from the Hesco momentarily to explain what this is about.

Whilst perusing Twitter yesterday, I happened upon the following Tweet from low-rent, occasional Guardian journalist, Samira Shackle:

I have a #journorequest: can anyone recommend any Iraqi human rights activists/lawyers/researchers with expertise on (or experience of) British actions in Iraq?

We obviously don't need a reminder that the Guardian has long been the platform for efforts to trash the Army's reputation, allow spiv lawyers to endlessly persue service personnel and give soft-support to jihadis. We also don't need a reminder that journos lacking in employment opportunities (lmao, I mean talent) will write any old garbage in order to pay the bills. So this is a heads up really that it's situational normal.

Anyway, the purpose of the thread is not to instigate a hate campaign against Ms Shackle or to tolerate any unmerited comments. This thread is to assist Ms Shackle with your experience of British actions in Iraq. If they're good enough, I'll email them to her personally.

For starters:

1. I experienced the COS at SLB calling an Op Wideawake because he left his full bottle of Head and Shoulders in the showers which then got stolen.
2. I have expertise in buying knock off lighters and fake Dinar notes from a local with a Bradford accent down in Umm Qasr.
3. I can recommend not eating counterfeit Laughing Cow cheese with LEC's whilst supervising them.
 
#2
Anyway, the purpose of the thread is not to instigate a hate campaign against Ms Shackle or to tolerate any unmerited comments. This thread is to assist Ms Shackle with your experience of British actions in Iraq. If they're good enough, I'll email them to her personally.
How much is she paying?
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
There is no cause for alarm. I was personally responsible for the strangulation of every Iraqi human rights activist/lawyer/researcher with expertise (or experience of) British actions in Iraq.

In a spirit of media co-operation and to show solidarity in the face of fake news, I will be most happy to show this journalist my extensive, diverse and inclusive collection of ears.
 
#6
An Iraqi kid stopped our mobile patrol as we were leaving camp in Al Amarah in May 2003. This young entrepreneur was holding up several AK 47 bayonets and shouting " five dollars, five dollars!"

I was smitten with his enthusiastic, if slightly annoying, selling tactics and engaged him with a wide smile and a cheery wave as I drew level with him.

Before reaching out, taking all of the bayonets and telling the driver to drive on.

The dirty, thieving delinquent, there was no way he was an ex- Iraqi soldier.
 
#7
I nailed a yank wren who I "trapped" in the "AK47 bar" near the jetty in Um Qasr. Think I did her behind a skip..can't remember exactly- I was wankered on knock-off vodka.
 
#8
Perhaps she wants to help members of the British armed forces claim compensation off the Iraqi state or individuals. It's about time one of these people took a new angle.
 
#9
Paying? Let's just say she's not exactly the most in demand journo on the circuit. You might have to do with a signed email.
Fuck that then, if she want tales of murder, torture, rape and jaywalking, I want hard cash.
 
#10
An Iraqi kid stopped our mobile patrol as we were leaving camp in Al Amarah in May 2003. This young entrepreneur was holding up several AK 47 bayonets and shouting " five dollars, five dollars!"

I was smitten with his enthusiastic, if slightly annoying, selling tactics and engaged him with a wide smile and a cheery wave as I drew level with him.

Before reaching out, taking all of the bayonets and telling the driver to drive on.

The dirty, thieving delinquent, there was no way he was an ex- Iraqi soldier.
Around the same time I was at Basra Airport, we had a colour photo copier which we used to copy US Dollars, which we then used to buy tat from Iraqi children.
 
#11
There is no cause for alarm. I was personally responsible for the strangulation of every Iraqi human rights activist/lawyer/researcher with expertise (or experience of) British actions in Iraq.

In a spirit of media co-operation and to show solidarity in the face of fake news, I will be most happy to show this journalist my extensive, diverse and inclusive collection of ears.
Is said ear collection gender neutral?
 
#13
I nailed a yank wren who I "trapped" in the "AK47 bar" near the jetty in Um Qasr. Think I did her behind a skip..can't remember exactly- I was wankered on knock-off vodka.
Funny that. I was at a stag night dressed as a female sailor in Um Qsar. Woke up with a sore arse. What are the odds.......oh. Wait. Is your your name Dave from Newcastle?
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#17
Never had much to do with Iraq. Marsh Arabs and greedy border guards so somewhere to be avoided. Unless the border into Urima got hairy then we would hook down to Duhuk, Erbil then east to somewhere unpronounceable.

During my short hoof through Iraq I witnessed many Brit Mil torturing babies and small dogs. I am happy to talk about this if the money is right. If somebody could link me to @SamiraShackle I would be obliged.
 
#18
Never had much to do with Iraq. Marsh Arabs and greedy border guards so somewhere to be avoided. Unless the border into Urima got hairy then we would hook down to Duhuk, Erbil then east to somewhere unpronounceable.

During my short hoof through Iraq I witnessed many Brit Mil torturing babies and small dogs. I am happy to talk about this if the money is right. If somebody could link me to @SamiraShackle I would be obliged.
So busy watching them working over the babies and small dogs that you missed the vile rituals involving the sheep dip and winch gloves..

Oops. I may have said too much.
 
#19
Never had much to do with Iraq. Marsh Arabs and greedy border guards so somewhere to be avoided. Unless the border into Urima got hairy then we would hook down to Duhuk, Erbil then east to somewhere unpronounceable.

During my short hoof through Iraq I witnessed many Brit Mil torturing babies and small dogs. I am happy to talk about this if the money is right. If somebody could link me to @SamiraShackle I would be obliged.
Here you go. 10% finders fee ok?

Contact
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#20
Here you go. 10% finders fee ok?
Hmm. I intend to offer marriage.

10% when she signs all her worldly good to me, then an additional 5% when I bash in her back doors.

Thats 15% sound. You can put that in the bank. I think I shall call her 'Sham'. When we are together.
 

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