ips for eating Pies

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by ragyman, Jan 5, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. i have found that taking small nibbels out of the bottoms of pies help them cool quicker thous they you can skoff them quicker.

    has any body got any more ideas on how to speed up the coolingprocess of pies.?

    (except not warming them up in the first place)
     
  2. Follow the checklist below:

    1. Locate yourself qty 1 times Large Desk Fan
    2. Locate yourself qty 1 times Mains Power Extension lead
    3. Plug long dangly bit of Fan into Holes in end of lead.
    4. Find button marked "0,1,Cold,Scotland,Freezer" (or similar)
    5. Point fan at pie, turn button (however labelled) to highest setting.
    6. Panic when all your porn flies around the room. By the time you've collected all your porn, cd's and other niff-naff, you'll have forgotton about your pie, it will now, therefore, remain resolutely immobile until you awake the next morning, discover that pie is still there, and consume said item for breakfast.

    OR

    1. Set the microwave for 10 seconds less, Nutter

    :twisted: :lol: :?:
     
  3. This has to be a joke?

    Im going to assume you arent serious, this is not even remotely funny.

    C*ck.
     
  4. I see you do not cum from the N.West of England the true home of the working class PIE.
    john
    Many lesser parts of the world have tried but none have achived the quality required.
     
  5. I suspect that this username gives away the bias against midnight pie-eaters from the north. This is totally pieist and should not be condoned even on these naffi pages.

    I however prefer burgers....for some reason. :wink:

    Unfortunately, I have yet to find a purveyor of burgers that serves anything too hot to eat....quite the opposite usually. Even if I do say so myself.
     
  6. “What’s in the pies chef” fantastic ways to piss off the slop jockeys apparently the foil wrapper are colour coded or some thing
     
  7. The people who cooked the pies at Scabs in Catterick, got round this problem.

    The last time I bought one, the outside pastry was hot, but the inside was a frozen ball of meat and potato. Having paid for my pie, I was determined to eat it, and gnawed my savoury lolly all the way back to camp. It was lovely. The lady I was with, who looked like Fred Elliott with a Brian May wig, asked for a bit, so I broke off a chunk by whacking it against a tree.

    and they say romance is dead.
     
  8. I had the opposite problem recently, having bought a sausage roll at the Naafi in Herford. The outside was pleasantly warm but the inside was a raging inferno of molten sausage grunge which I was forced to spit out rather inelegantly, lightly dusting my fellow pie-eaters with greasy crumbs and brown sauce.

    Oh for the golden age of good manners.
     
  9. this last post is truely revolting!!

    but i most confess i have also done a similar thingwith out spraying everyone in the surounding area..

    i was also consuming a naffi 'delite' but this was a monster burger from the naffi on STC yet again it was nicely warm on the outer but when i got to the centre it was so hot i gobbed it out and went to the MRS were i found, it was so badly burnt i could only drink water for the next 24 hours.

    "a burger to far"
     
  10. Who called the cook a cnut?
    Who called that cnut a cook!
     
  11. Army Cooks are called (in polite society) Fitters and turners, Taking Fit Food and turning it into SHIT 8O
     
  12. Whats this a NAAFI pie thread oh joy of joys !

    No wait. If I care to wonder over to our SPAR shop (nee NAAFI) all I find is Ginsters "Mediteranean [SIC] chicken slice" or Peppered Beef and Pepper lattice

    I mean what the FECK is that all about. Walk into the NAAFI these days and demand a Growler and all they can offer is a rather suggestive Hot Dog of dubious origins and a copy of Hello magazine

    oh the times they are a changing.
     
  13. [​IMG]

    Pukka Pies are what you need............"Fcukin canny bit o bait" as my lads used to say