Introduction letter needed for arrival at new unit.

#1
Evening All,
A friend of mine needs a template of a letter of introduction to send to his future RSM/CO etc. Any help would be greatly received. :wink:
 
#2
FULLTRAIN said:
Evening All,
A friend of mine needs a template of a letter of introduction to send to his future RSM/CO etc. Any help would be greatly received. :wink:
For his CSM/SSM/etc

"Dear Sir 2nd class warrant thingy

I am due into your company/troop/etc soon and would like to be actively involved in changing the unit for the better. First of all I think you're a jack cnut. Second I wish to engage in providing sexual favours to the CO to aid my promotion prospects.

Finally I see myself fitting in well by aiming to be a PTI within 6 months, so I can make lots of friends...

Yours

Bigfa Tcuntychops"
 
#3
Don't forget to include hobbies as collecting spores molds and fungi and to ask the CO for permission to wear female military clothing and grow his hair long as he is a pre-op transexual. :)
 
#4
dingerr said:
Don't forget to include hobbies as collecting spores molds and fungi and to ask the CO for permission to wear female military clothing and grow his hair long as he is a pre-op transexual. :)
His new unit isn't the paras you know.... or is it?
 
#6
crabby said:
dingerr said:
Don't forget to include hobbies as collecting spores molds and fungi and to ask the CO for permission to wear female military clothing and grow his hair long as he is a pre-op transexual. :)
His new unit isn't the paras you know.... or is it?
The options are getting wider - Para's, REME - who's next.

About the PARA She/HE is it still allowed to serve with them once it has had its bits removed? Just wondered with the Paras being front line troops.
 
#8
crabby said:
FULLTRAIN said:
Evening All,
A friend of mine needs a template of a letter of introduction to send to his future RSM/CO etc. Any help would be greatly received. :wink:
For his CSM/SSM/etc

"Dear Sir 2nd class warrant thingy

I am due into your company/troop/etc soon and would like to be actively involved in changing the unit for the better. First of all I think you're a jack cnut. Second I wish to engage in providing sexual favours to the CO to aid my promotion prospects.

Finally I see myself fitting in well by aiming to be a PTI within 6 months, so I can make lots of friends...

Yours

Bigfa Tcuntychops"
I should have fcuking known better really, shouldn't i ?????
 
#9
FULLTRAIN said:
crabby said:
FULLTRAIN said:
Evening All,
A friend of mine needs a template of a letter of introduction to send to his future RSM/CO etc. Any help would be greatly received. :wink:
For his CSM/SSM/etc

"Dear Sir 2nd class warrant thingy

I am due into your company/troop/etc soon and would like to be actively involved in changing the unit for the better. First of all I think you're a jack cnut. Second I wish to engage in providing sexual favours to the CO to aid my promotion prospects.

Finally I see myself fitting in well by aiming to be a PTI within 6 months, so I can make lots of friends...

Yours

Bigfa Tcuntychops"
I should have fcuking known better really, shouldn't i ?????
You did put it in the NAAFI. Is this "friend" of yours really a raving homosexual with a penchant for spreading manglue on slices of toast and finish it off with a light dusting of arrse musk?
 
#11
FULLTRAIN said:
I should have fcuking known better really, shouldn't i ?????
It's not like you were ever going to get a sensible answer anyway at 2100 on a Friday evening.

All those who are sober put your hands up.......... See! no hands = everyone pished.
 
#13
no1cares said:
dear crabby,

you've never written a letter of this nature.

fcuk off

walt hunter
(aka No1cares)
of course I fcuking haven't

I've also never written a serious letter on the same topic.

Your point being?

Do you want to fcuk off and die now or later? Now would be far preferable od chap, chop chop, you won't be missed.
 
#15
no1cares said:
My point being, you're a civvie on an Army website, often giving views about things you know nothing about.

I'd rather die later.
And you're a cnut. End of.
 
#16
crabby said:
no1cares said:
My point being, you're a civvie on an Army website, often giving views about things you know nothing about.

I'd rather die later.
And you're a cnut. End of.
Seconded, therefore the motion is carried. Next question?
 
#17
the_matelot said:
crabby said:
no1cares said:
My point being, you're a civvie on an Army website, often giving views about things you know nothing about.

I'd rather die later.
And you're a cnut. End of.
Seconded, therefore the motion is carried. Next question?
Cheers matelot, I knew that blowjob would come in useful.

What do I get for dressing in a black and red frilly something from ann summers? But you've got to supply the lubricant this time, it gets expensive...
 
#19
Who the fcuk needs an introduction letter, in my time you just turned up with your kit and cracked on with it
 
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