Interview without coffee?

#1
About a month ago I forgot to salute an officer and despite the relatively minor offence I got a severe bollicking off the officer, sergeant and 3 corporals of my platoon for about a good hour. About two hours later, after my hearing had returned the BSM kicked in the door to my billet proceeded to give me a bollicking of his own. By the end of it I was left in the corner of my billet rocking back and forth and mumbling "Make the bad man stop!"

Whats the worst bollicking you guys have ever gotten and for what?
 
#2
HavocIRL said:
About a month ago I forgot to salute an officer and despite the relatively minor offence I got a severe bollicking off the officer, sergeant and 3 corporals of my platoon for about a good hour. About two hours later, after my hearing had returned the BSM kicked in the door to my billet proceeded to give me a bollicking of his own. By the end of it I was left in the corner of my billet rocking back and forth and mumbling "Make the bad man stop!"

Whats the worst bollicking you guys have ever gotten and for what?
Obviously a slow day at work for them all. :roll:
 
#4
A tad over the top that. I now work in a major military HQ as a civvy and it's great ignoring these sad sacks that I used to have to tug my forelock to.
 
#5
roflmao... told a woopert I was cracking one off in a sangar in a certain mill... when I was realy monging it...

He hit the roof I ended up on C.O's... oh how D Coy Laughed :)
 
#6
Our TSM used to be called Richter as in Richter Scale, we would measure the scale from the loadness of his bowlocking, worse one I got off him was on Ex in Germany when wew were laid up fr a week in a Sports Platz car park, he had gone out for a few bevys, I was in Fire Picquet and has just handed over to my replacement when we heard this commotion, he got pished up and decided to test the "guard" and thought that I was asleep due to not being on my rounds at that time and gave me the most almighty pi$$ed out of his head dressing down. Come the morning however he got a taste of his own medicine from the BSM for b0ll0cking the guard whslt on the sauce. Credit to him, he took it like a man and never held a grudge against me and in fact promoted me not long after.

But then again these were the days when you had huge shoulders and didn't cry to the papers every 5 mins
 
#7
discodan said:
roflmao... told a woopert I was cracking one off in a sangar in a certain mill... when I was realy monging it...

He hit the roof I ended up on C.O's... oh how D Coy Laughed :)
hmmm does my location bring back memories then ?
 
#8
Many years ago as an 8 stone wringing wet baby scaley. I was in continuation troop awaiting trade training. My mate Bob W (ya bastad) for some bizzare reason left his new Rambo style cheapo survival jungle knife under my pillow (he reckoned it was a mistake ???)
First I knew about it all 5 foot and 110 lbs of me was called into troop Cpls office issue specs and all (you get the picture)

"Ahhhh young Gibson097 Lover of Knives" bemused look on my face ?????

So you gonna take on the Russians and the IRA single handed then ??? all this at a profesionally quiet level.....even more bemused look on my grid.

Unleash a torrent of abuse something to do with my brain not being fully functional and the whereabouts of my father ??
words on a screen cannot convey the physical force of the breeze emitted from Troop Cpls mouth but a 5 minute tirade later and picking up my Beret off the floor behind me, I launched into the rest of my army career swearing to never hide my combat sword under my pillow. (actually when, in my naievety I did purchase a "Jungle King" it was whipped off my webbing by the lovely RAF police on the way to Belize where there was a slim chance I may of had to deploy the liferaft that was stashed in the handle)

thanks Bob I still owe you for that !
 
#9
recce-cpl said:
Must of been a general you forgot to salute , sod being in the RA too much b@@@@@@t for me .
Honestly its totally down to RSM's, we had a couple who were Cdo and Para and we never did much BS, wore cloth capbadges and smocks about the shop, the para then was replaced by a shortarse form the donkey whollopers and then it was Blue jerseys for officers and No 2 stripes on GS shirts
 
#10
Rant on.

What is the world coming to? Whining about getting a bollocking for not saluting.

I'm starting to wonder why I even bother with the Army when it seems to be chock full of pathetic dripping mummy's boys who can't handle having their shitty standards pulled up - and rightly so. The same thing that makes a soldier salute an officer is exactly the same thing that makes a formed cohesive organisation of fighting men capable of taking the fight to the enemy and winning the day.

I accept that serial bollockings are a tad dull, however - shurely only one swift 'unload' from the Pl Sgt would have sufficed - but to suggest it isn't needed is utterly abhorent to me.

If you don't like it - you guessed it - leave.

Oh, and this isn't a go at Havoc - it's a go at all those people who may feel tempted to post along the lines of 'yeah, saluting is crap, mate - I tell 'em all to fcuk off' nonsense we will shurely get. I now understand why so many (apparently professional) soldiers and ex-soldiers rambled on incessantly on the 'punchy Bootie thread' about how acceptable this sort of behaviour is. I can assure you it isn't, and I feel sorry for anyone who goes into a firefight thinking it is.

Rant off.

PS Havoc - go and get pissed - tomorrow is another day. And I once shared your predilection for receiving bollockings! :D
 
#11
Darth_Doctrinus said:
Rant on.

What is the world coming to? Whining about getting a bollocking for not saluting.

I'm starting to wonder why I even bother with the Army when it seems to be chock full of pathetic dripping mummy's boys who can't handle having their shitty standards pulled up - and rightly so. The same thing that makes a soldier salute an officer is exactly the same thing that makes a formed cohesive organisation of fighting men capable of taking the fight to the enemy and winning the day.

I accept that serial bollockings are a tad dull, however - shurely only one swift 'unload' from the Pl Sgt would have sufficed - but to suggest it isn't needed is utterly abhorent to me.

If you don't like it - you guessed it - leave.

Oh, and this isn't a go at Havoc - it's a go at all those people who may feel tempted to post along the lines of 'yeah, saluting is crap, mate - I tell 'em all to fcuk off' nonsense we will shurely get. I now understand why so many (apparently professional) soldiers and ex-soldiers rambled on incessantly on the 'punchy Bootie thread' about how acceptable this sort of behaviour is. I can assure you it isn't, and I feel sorry for anyone who goes into a firefight thinking it is.

Rant off.

PS Havoc - go and get pissed - tomorrow is another day. And I once shared your predilection for receiving bollockings! :D
Stabtiffy stands to attention and throws one up

"Thank you for your views, Sir".
 
#13
Sorry but the officer in question sounds a bit of a knobber. No balls to deal with his drama's himself then call it a day. I hate this culture amongst officers. For example Officer (mum) doesnt get saluted. Lets it pass with a small tap on the wrist but then tells your PlSgt (dad) when he see's him. Have some balls Lt Jiles Sharpe the 3rd, if we piss you off grip us. The lads will respect you more for it!!!

I know in my company the only time our officers get one of us to throw one up is when we go in there office or on parade. This doesn't mean that come the day when he says "take 3 section and Waste that Machine gun nest" that i am gonna say "up yours knobber." Alls it means is one less bit of bull shit to worry about in camp.

I think officers need to get down off their tall steed every once in a while.
 
#14
Smacking an extremely arrogant little Hitler type officer who whacked me across the back of my legs with a Sterling Sub Machine Gun in Oman when firing my SLR.I stood up grabbed the barrel of the SLR and swung it as hard as I could across the face of the little turd he went down hard with a broken jaw and quite a few teeth missing.As he had assaulted me in front 25 other ranks I was never taken to task for it,but there again I regreted doing what I did,but that incident followed me through my career and all officers were aware of me.
 
#15
meh, i get bollokings all the time i just get on with it. the last one was for having a red stripe dyed across my hair, i thought it loked cool but csm didnt (even if it did stay under my beret).
 
#16
Ah, remembering back not too long ago...

There was a certain lack of 'sir-ing' on my part towards the Bde Comd during a Bde get together one evening, not that I realised at the time though. I thought I was being very polite, minding my Ps and Qs...
Anyway, he cottoned on straight away, even offering me a drink "here you go, sir". I naively just said "Thank you very much".

Cut to next day, standing in the RSMs office receiving a rifting "Are you an idiot, Sir?" Then to the Adjts office "wg100, you are an idiot."

Ho-Hum, at least I'll never forget to say 'Sir' again!

Life's little lessons...
 
#17
was once told by an arrogant artillery orifice 'You are the least military man I know'

the reply of 'From you Sir, I'll take that as a compliment' went down like a lead balloon with him.

The entire Battery was outside, who were in fits. this didn't make it any easier to keep a straight face.
 
#18
Most effective bollocking ever received was as a young Tom on first ever live firing exercise. All ready to go (loaded but not made ready) on the Start Line (now Line of Departure?). Sgt notices from about 10 metres away that my safety is off. He walks up to me (we were all in the prone position). Tells me to lay my rifle down. Then he takes off his helmet and smacks my head with it as hard as he could (yes, I was wearing a helmet).

He asks me "What are you doing wrong?"
2 or 3 hurried seconds later I realised it was the safety. Told him and applied the safety catch. He just nodded and walked back to his position.

I felt like such a cnut for looking unprofessional in front of my section. No-one ever mentioned it again, but I never again fcuked up on weapons drill (pain assisted learning is a powerful tool).



ed for sp
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#19
Not the worst i had but the most undeserved.

1990 World Cup England play the Cameroon, an Officer's Mess somewhere in BAOR, my first year in Army, over 20 Officers in the room, all English except me. In the true support whomever the english play style I offered my voice to praise the underdogs, who scored first, Hurrah from me, England equalise, hurrahs from the rest, plucky Cameroon score again, hurrah again, England use their usual bullyboy tactics to score two more and win game 3-2. Lots of banter in TV room.

Next morning when working at Dental Centre invited into OIC's Office for interview in which coffee was sadly absent.
" Ah, Fang I understand you were watching the football last night"
"Yes, Sir"
" I understand you were not supporting England"
"No, Sir"
"Why not?"
"Am not English, Sir"
" It's just I've had an official complaint about it!"

End result a page in my P-File stating that I was unpatriotic and disloyal for failing to support England.

I hadn't realised up until that point that it was the English Army and not the British one and that if people had a problem that they would go running to your CO at the drop of a hat instead of confronting you, learned quick enough!
 
#20
I totally agree with Darth....stop whinging!! We've all had bollo**ings for stop we did or didn't do. It's all part and parcel of military life and also it gives you ammunition for getting violent during Jnrs v Snrs rugby matches!!!
 

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