Internet Obituaries

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by jack-daniels, Oct 31, 2008.

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  1. Looking at the thread about Blot Bang Rub and the compassion/lack of compassion being shown I think it would be better if we had our own obits pre planned so that when we pop the mortal coil we'll know what everyone thinks of us.

    Mine will probably be something along the lines of:

    ''JD, an utter twat who preferred beer to air''.

    What do you think your fellow arrsers will say about you?
  2. "Who the f*ck was he?"
  3. Hammy 123 - alcohol was his downfall, someone hit him in the head with a bottle of Dog in the BiG Market.
  4. "I am glad he shot himself, saved me the trouble"
  5. Something along the lines of: 'Didn't he used to be wedge35? This has got to be a wah! He was a bit of a knobb anyway'
  6. Bugger, he owed me a fiver/pint/kidney.
  7. Mine: "Thank fcuk for that, one less geek in the world".

    Alternate: "Bastard, he owed me £n"
  8. I die,
    Familys response

    "The bastard never wrote a will"
  9. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer


    Liked porn too much. Annnoying little fatherless cnut.
  10. That bastard was my ex-husband and he's stitched me up with the mortgage or our marital home.

    Or as the bitch is from Romford it will probably read somehthing more like this;

    Dat fu'kin cant 'az taken me for a fu'kin mug..... you get the idea.
  11. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Here lies B&T
    He really was a cunt!
  12. "Lived up to his name"

    And on my grave:

    "I told you I was ill"
  13. on grave : Whoever said bullets bounce off medics F*cking lied!
  14. My obituary will simply read:


    Here's hoping his grave isn't as shallow as that c-unt was.
  15. Me- I die! I hope men will say of me that I did duty by my country.
    Arrse- I think that's pretty unlikely. If I were you, I'd wish for something a bit more realistic.
    Me - Like what?
    Arrse - Well, you hope that men will think of you as a bit of a cnut?
    Me - All right, I'll hope that.

    See such a cnut I can't even be bothered to think up my own jokes.