Handbags at dawn.........
In the tone of Sir David Attenborough.
"What we have here is... a perfect specimen of that quite common creature, the Internet Hard man.
It is usually found..... in its bedsit, in ....,piss stained underwear, surrounded by pizza boxes and bottles of cheap , Tesco own brand cola.
As you can imagine, up close its smell is.... Unique.. A blend of tears, shame, smegma... and old socks... "
Fixed for how Sir/Saint David of Attenborough would speak.
It is actually.